The Story of My Life

Black Swan

A/N: This is a story about Julie in an alternate universe. But some facts have been taken from real life... Enjoy! :D

I lie awake in bed. Just staring catatonically at the ceiling. I feel the soft sheets as the warm sun rays hit my skin. But nothing feels colder than being alone in my bed, without him.

This past week has been uneventful. I can barely remember the last time I left my bedroom. I just get out of bed to go to the bathroom or to get food in the kitchen. But most of the time I don't feel like eating. The pain of being left behind overpowers the urge to eat, go out of my room, much less to leave my home.

My mind travels back to the good times with him. I miss the way he touches my cheeks and stares into my eyes. Then he would smile at me and I would see his eyes smiling too. He would inch closer and give me an Eskimo kiss. I close my eyes and I could almost hear his voice telling me how beautiful I am in his eyes and that he loves me. I could almost feel his warm breath against my lips as he finally leans in for a loving kiss. I feel my cheeks heat up. His kiss makes my knees go weak and my heart and mind turn to mush. He would pull me close and I would rest my head on his chest. I loved listening to his steady heartbeat while watching the sunset from the terrace of his condo. Occasionally, he would even sing to me and I'd close my eyes and savor the moment.

I snap out of my reverie as I hear someone knocking at my door. I immediately sit up. Half hoping that he is the one I would find at the other side. That he came back. I quickly push my thoughts aside. The more I hope, the more it hurts.

The door opens and my best friends walk in. I try my best to push aside the feeling of sadness and disappointment. They have helped a lot in somehow keeping me sane this past week.

"Choolieeeee!"

"Good morning, Juls!"

The walk in with big smiles. What a riot. I give them a weak smile. It's the least I can do for their effort in visiting me here.

"Hi guys."

"Wow ha. Taas ng energy mo. Sayang naman yung grand entrance namin ni Barbie."

"Ano ba Val. Ano ba expect mo. Heartbroken si ateng."

I know that they come here to try to cheer me up. I am kind of ashamed because my family and friends have been trying to cheer me up, but the wounds are still fresh. It hurt big time. I am still far too weak to function properly. It barely just sunk into me that he already left.

I still remember that one evening, during our scheduled movie night in the living room of my home. I felt that he was being distant and his body was tense. It was as if he wasn't there with me. This was unusual because he would usually be the one who was more relaxed. And being the dork that he is, he would usually point out things in the movie that a regular movie watcher wouldn't notice. Eventually, I had enough of the heavy atmosphere and so, I confronted him. At first, he tried to avoid me, so I pulled his arm to make him face me. My heart clenched when I saw nothing but annoyance and irritation in his face. I could hear my heart beating against my chest. What is happening? Then he broke the news. His voice so cold, I almost shivered upon hearing him speak.

"I'm leaving."

"Leaving? For what?"

"I got a job offer. Sa U.S."

"That's great! Alam mo naman I will support you when it comes to your dreams."

"It's a potential permanent job. I will be heading there tomorrow to negotiate my contract."

"Bakit ngayon mo lang to sinasabi? Do you know what this means for us?"

"Yes I do. That's why I came here to break up with you."