But Never Doubt My Love

Chapter Two - The First Letter

Three weeks after the funeral

 

It was the annoying home phone that finally woke Loki up from his deep sleep. He dreamt of what life could have been like if tom was still alive. After turning over and realising that tom still wasn’t there, he went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He was always told how much like tom he looked, just with long black hair and emerald green eyes. But his eyes were now swollen and sunken and his frame even thinner than before.  He hadn’t realised until the funeral how little he had eaten since tom had died. He would have the odd sweet or biscuit but he hadn’t had a full meal until Diana, Tom’s mother, invited him over for a roast last Sunday. It was nice having Diana so close as his own family hadn’t come to see him once since his husbands passing.  Diana would regularly check up on him to make sure he had everything he needed. In a way, Loki thought of her as his midgardian mother, the one that would care for him when his mother wasn’t with him.

Loki was pulled out of his thoughts when the phone rang again. He looked over at the bedside table and sighed. He reached for the phone and held it against his ear.

“Finally you picked up!”

It was tom’s little Sister Emma. She was the loudest out of her and Sarah, Tom’s older sister. Emma would be the one that Tom would have to pick up from parties after she knew she had something to drink. Tom and Emma were very close so it makes sense for her to get along with Loki as she was always over at their house. She had a strong square jaw and long, flowing blonde hair, much like Loki’s Brother Thor. She also had eyes like Toms, like the blue after a storm. If Loki was honest he would say she was very pretty. But every time Loki looked at her, he was reminded of Tom.

“What is it?”

Loki asked quite groggily as he checked the time. 12:17pm, he sighed. He sat down on the bed once again and stared at toms ashes. This was a daily routine for Loki. It was if he was making sure that tom was definitely dead.

“Hello?”

Loki shook his head as he realised Emma was still talking.

“My apologies, what was that?”

Loki said softer than when he spoke earlier.

A sad sigh was clearly audible from the other end of the phone. “I was saying that mum is making Sheppard’s pie tonight. You should come over, we miss you.”

Loki chuckled softly. “You mean that you miss me. I saw your mother just the other day.” Loki had bumped into her at Tescos doing the weekly shopping.

“Fine, yes. But will you come?” Loki could hear the pleading in her voice and gave in.

“Alright, I shall be there at six thirty.”

After a few more exchanges of pleasantries Loki hung up. He walked back into the bathroom and had a shower.

It had been a long day. Loki had been at work as a mythology lecturer for the past six hours. All he wanted to do was shower and settle down with a book. Tom was in Toronto filming some horror film. Loki had forgotten the name. He had just closed his eyes when someone stepped in the shower with him. He went to grab the intruder’s neck, and then he saw it was Tom. He smacked his chest and chuckled as he gave Tom a kiss. “I thought you were still in Toronto!” Loki exclaimed as he hugged Tom’s upper body tightly.

“I had to come back and see you two though.” Tom said softly as he placed a hand on Loki's stomach. Loki placed his hand over Tom’s,

“I think it’s a girl.” Loki stated as he looked up at tom.

“Really?” tom asked with a smile.

Loki nodded, “she shall have long raven black hair like mine, and eyes like yours.”

Tom chuckled. “She is going to be beautiful, no matter what she looks like.”

 

Loki suddenly stopped the shower. He didn’t want to think of that time. He looked at his now childless stomach and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel as he walked past it. After he had put clothing on and made some bacon and eggs, there was a knock at the door. Loki stood up walked towards the door. He opened the door and a mail man was there holding a letter for him. Loki took the letter and gave the man his thanks. He stared at the letter quite confused before he opened it.

It read:

“My dearest Loki,

I know you must be very sad and this is why I have written these letters.

Don’t ask how they are getting to you or where they are coming from, just accept them and do what I say. I know that you have been wanting to get rid of that awful mattress for a while now. So I want you to go buy the most comfortable mattress you can find and buy it. Don’t argue that it doesn’t matter either, because I know that it’s been hurting your back. Also I want you to buy some nice clothes that you can dance in. Do you remember our first date? How I took you to that restaurant that had a disco area? Well that is where you are going tomorrow whether you like it or not. So have fun and stop lying in bed all day.

From Tom.

PS. Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth be a liar, but never doubt my love.”

Loki smiled to himself sadly and placed the letter into his pocket. He did what tom asked. He bought a new mattress and bought some new jeans and a nice shirt.

By the time six thirty came around Loki had finished in town and had just arrived at Diana’s house. It was small, cozy and always inviting. Diana had made it very clear to Loki to stop by whenever he wanted, no phone call needed. She even gave him a key. He stepped out of the car and walked to the front door. He opened it and smiled once he saw that not only was Diana and Emma there, but Sarah and her daughter Lucy were also there. Lucy was six years old and had long curly blonde hair. Her front teeth were missing and she had brown eyes like her father. She ran to Loki and hugged his legs.

“Uncle Loki!” she yelled quite happily.

Loki smiled down at her and picked her up, “hello my little Liebchan.” He chuckled. She was very fond of her uncle Loki as ‘he could do magic’, as she would put it.

After Loki had said hello to everyone in the house he sat down next to Lucy and spoke. “I received a letter today…” he started. “From Thomas… it was written before he died.” He said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out the letter and placed it on the table. Diana picked it up and her daughters surrounded her as she read it out loud. They all turned to Loki after she had finished,

“Did you do what he told you to do?” Emma spoke up after a moment’s pause.

Loki nodded with a sad smile and Lucy hugged her uncle. “Don’t worry Uncle Loki, you still have me!” she said with a grin.

When Loki returned home that night, he placed his clothes in the wardrobe and replaced the mattress. Placing the old one in the spare room. He climbed inside his bed and looked at the urn, as he had done every night for the past three weeks. “Goodnight Thomas, I hope you and our little Alice are joined up in Valhalla.” Loki said with a yawn as he hugged Tom’s pillow and closed his eyes.

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A/N

next chapter up tomorrow :)

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