Dear you,
l had trouble sleeping in last few weeks, I keep having the same nightmare over and over again, needed you there snuggling me..
I wish that when I wake up you're there, wrap your arms around me for real because you're the perfect lullaby. My perfect lullaby.
You help me fall asleep and stay asleep for the night with your smell is all over me.. and it makes me wanna hold you tighter. I can't get enough of it. You're way more dangerous than drugs. I am literally addicted to you.
Dear you,
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare. Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you. You keep me safe.
From myself.
My past. My greediness. My insecurities. My doubts. My fears. Safe from ever thinking that I am not enough.
Dear you,
I want to tell you things..
When I'm with you I feel safe from the things that hurt me inside. You wrap your arms around me and hold me...
Tight enough for me to feel safe!
In your arms. In your forehead kisses and tickle fights. In your nightly snuggles, my head on your chest- moving together as your rib cage rises and falls to a steady beat.
When you put your arms around me and I close my eyes. It was with you, unintentionally, where I'd learned to trust again. For the first time, that it was okay to trust unfamiliar lips. Where I'd told myself that it was okay to let go of a past that was only tying me to what no longer was. It was okay to breathe deeply..
I breathe and let myself relax, let myself lean into you. Without fear.
Dear you,
When you put your arms around me, my heart is like an old heater humming to life again.. And suddenly, I remember how it feels to be alive. I could feel you touching me forever. It's the best and most peaceful feeling in the world
You put your arms around me and I am finally loved how I need to be loved.
And now I'm scared.
What if?
Yes, what if?
What if one day you could no longer remember any of them?
What if you walk away from me?
What if you disappear from me?
What if I no longer feel safe anymore? Without you, with me?
Dear you, I am sorry.
I want to get out before it gets too difficult to leave..
That's all.
