An average person's adventure (creepypasta)

Chap 1: My average life

My name is Da Bai Christensen. Da Bai is my given name, it means "intelligent and pure" in Chinese. Christensen is my family name, it's is a Danish patronymic surname which means "Christian". I am a fourteen years old girl who pretty much have an average life. My father is an American and my mother is a Chinese, my parents are currently living in China. My family's economy is not rich but also not poor, we have enough money to maintain an average life with basic expenses. I am studying to be a doctor in the future and will find a suitable partner to make a family, I will live a normal life till the day I die. 

I am grateful for many things I have which others don't. I want to be a useful person in society and make my parents proud. I will be a good person. But it seems like I am always missing something, something that I don't know... There's always something that messes around with my head, it makes my thoughts unusual and kind of twisted. I'm really fine with coping and acting like normal people around me, no body found out, I think it's will be ok if I pretend my whole life. But, currently, the 'unusual' things became severe. I can control it but it will soon get out of hand. When did it start?

Back when I was a baby to 6 years old, I was a very normal kid that could be found everywhere. My thoughts and actions was very normal, I can blend in with the crowd. When I turned 7, the bullying started. But rather than be sad and depressed and was bored and feeling inconvenient. Before that, I had friends, which helped me with my social skills. But because of my introverted behaviors, I eventually fell out of the friendship circle. The bullying was not as bad as those on TV, the other kids isolated me, calling me names and and stole my school things. I used to walk around the playground in boredom, being annoyed when they keeps on stoling my things calling me names: "Useless, loner, dirty, ugly!" But thanks to them, I won't take a lot of damages when I face the similar situation. I didn't tell my family about it because I thought they would make a big deal about it and there will be a lot of things I have to say, annoying. But the deal slips my mouth when I turned 11, yes I was just a kid, they did made a big deal about it, which proved my parents loves me very much, and I ended up moving to another class. I also had to take Karate and Aikido classes to... protect myself.

After that, I returned my normal life, have friends, and studying. I always get all A, well, most of my father's and mother's family do. But, I started to have... strange behaviors. I just don't know why... when I am wounded,... I liked it, a strange feeling... when I see the blood dripping off the cut... But I didn't hurt myself, because I might have to go meet a Psychological doctor and get a tons of medication. The same happened when I see others hurted, I ran to them to help, but in my head, I feel... happy. I watch horror movies... a lot, I like it when I see the characters  just scream and be scared and... die. I imagined how it would be like if I am cut up into small pieces, hanged up, crashed by a trained, well those thoughts became 'normal'. Watching the villains just wanna killed everything, I can't helped but feel... sympathetic. When I was 12, my dad's far relatives let me live at their house for me to study abroad, I am very thankful. This family seems to be very busy, they work from early in the morning to late in the evening, leaving me, a lot of times alone in the house. Well, then I started to have... suicidal actions. I'm not depressed, don't misunderstand. I'm just curious how it would feel to cut, it was great... My brain tried telling me to stop, I keeps on shaking, but I can't stop, it feels so great... 

I know it isn't good for my physical body and my brain, but I just can't... Well, the killers and ghosts in the horror films, wish they were real, I would be happy if I were able to be killed by them... 

Today, ah... I just finished one cut... looking at my arms... full of cuts. You are wondering I didn't die after cutting for a couple of years? I didn't necessary aiming for the vein. Just a normal day, going to school or other places, I always wear long-sleeves, these marks are quite troublesome, but I can't stop, what can I do, my bloodthirst is getting stronger day by day... No, I got to stay calm, I want an average life! No, stop, ah... I don't know how long I can last...

The end of school day, I did my homework at school, because I had some extra time. Placing my school bag down, wait... scratching noise? Probably some random cat. Why didn't that cat stop scratching? Ah, it's getting annoying... It's getting cold here... Huh? The air-conditioner is not on... Maybe it's getting cold outside. 

Ah... that feeling... it's here... where are the knifes? I walked my room... huh? The window is opened, did I forgot to closed it in the morning? Let's hope that no one has gotten in the house, I closed the window. The knifes are here in the drawer, I lift a knife up. My body is reacting again, it guessed what will happened next... I place the knife on my wrist and push it into the skin, the started oozing out of the wound. Ah, it feels great... I want more... looks like there will be more cuts than usual... After a few more cuts, I think I'm falling... asleep... 

Ah, I woke up. Wait, my legs feel strange... What?! There are cuts all over it, I didn't cut my legs... So, who did it? There aren't any logical explanations for this, except that there is someone else in the house! I regret not closing the window, but I remembered clearly that I closed it... It must be false memory! About my legs, hey, someone in the house, are you forcing me to wear long pants whenever I go out? No, it's super uncomfortable... *childish whining*. Ah my childhood memories are coming back...