The Stoner & The Blind Girl

Part 36

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"Sometimes, it's better not to see. Sometimes, it's better to have a choice."

- Kevin Crossly-Holland

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I wanted to punch him in the face.

"Go away," I said looking away from him as I walked towards the house door.

The only reason he wasn't already choking on my fist right now was because of Emma. If Emma chose him then I couldn't hurt him. Hurting him would be hurting her.

"Look, I understand why you are upset-" he started but I cut him off.

"I said to go the fuck away." I snapped.

There was nothing he could say that could change anything. He'd won, I didn't need to hear him brag about it.

He had one thing with her that I couldn't compete with; history.

"I'm sorry." He said causing me to stop. I turned to him.

"So you accidentally made out with my girlfriend?" I asked doubtfully.

"No-" he started I cut him off. "That's what I thought," I said heading towards the door.

"No, I mean that's not how that happened." He said quickly rushing towards me.

I ignored him and unlocked the house door.

"Yes, I kissed her. But, it was all me. Once she realized what was happening, she made it very clear how she felt." He said. I turned to him to see him rubbing his cheek as if remembering being slapped.

Before I could tell him to leave again he sat down on the porch steps. He let out a sigh.

"I'm not sorry I kissed her. I know I shouldn't have. But, you know how Emma is. She isn't the type of girl you can just let go." He muttered.

I knew exactly what he meant.

Emma wasn't a girl you could just forget about.

I sat down on the porch. He looks to me.

"Go on," I replied. I needed to know. I need to understand.

He looked away from me.

"When I met her I was in a really dark place. She helped me. We helped each other. But in the end, I needed her more than she needed me. I was always so afraid she was going to realize that. I figured it would hurt less if I ended things with her before she could with me. I couldn't have been so wrong." He explained recounting how their relationship first began and ended.

I sighed. It seemed like Ian and I had more in common than either of us would ever admit.

I knew exactly how he felt. The constant fear that the one person you need would wake up one day and realized they didn't need you.

Still, hearing the details of their relationship was uncomfortable. Especially, with how similar it was to the relationship I had with her. It was starting to become apparent that Emma had a type; insecure guys who 'needed' help.

"Then Emma's mom invited me to Thanksgiving, which in hindsight I should have known was weird because she never liked me, but I went because she said Emma wanted me to come."

And, here I thought Emma's mom just didn't like me... I thought bitterly.

Still, deep down I think she just cares a whole lot. She just has a funny way of showing it. Like on Christmas, I remembered.