Every goddamn day starts the same, I drag myself out of bed when all i really want t do is sleep forever; and i mean forever. i get a big, sorry hug from my mom cause she knows deep down that shes lucky im here another day. i eat breakfast only to immediately regret it afterwards. Most days I stay home because my anxiety has taken over my social life and won’t let me leave. And this isn’t some little girl that’s saying she has problems she doesn’t. My mom says when I was little I used to sit up in my crib and cry and scream. She says there was never really a reason why but there wasn’t much that would help. I never slept either, I would stay up and watch cooking shows with my mom and my little brother when his asthma wouldn’t him sleep either. My whole life I’ve been struggling. I started cutting the summer going into 8th grade. I had been depressed for a while, a year before that my boyfriend of 6 months had moved. Yeah, yeah I was in 6th grade, but damn, I loved him. Longest relationship I ever had. He treated me so well. But he moved, hours and hours away and I haven’t seen him or talked to him in almost 5 years. Sad isn’t it? Things have always been tough. I don’t have family problems, my dad doesn’t hurt me and my parents are happily married but things have always been hard. Im extremely depressed and my parents refused to put me on mediation because most side effects aren’t worth it. every day is the same for me. Wake up, regret eating, anxiety attacks, regret eating again, and more anxiety until I finally ay in lay in bed for hours just waiting for my body to give up and go to sleep. Not many people think I have it hard. No one thinks i have good enough reasons to be depressed. But I do. I have my reason just like they have theirs. And im depressed because of my issues I have in my life. Everyone deals with things differently, everyone has their own struggles. A kitchen sink to you, is not a kitchen sink to me, my friend.
