Title: Angel's Laugh
Genre: angst
Characters: unspecified
Summary: "those who laugh the loudest have cried the hardest"
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the first laugh
"mag break na tayo, please?" he didnt beg. instead he avoided my gaze.
"ano bang pinagsasabi mo, josh? nakakatawa yang joke mo ha!" i was stuttering. this isnt real. i laughed loud. theres no way my boyfriend for 4 years is gonna break up with me.
"im sorry. i-- it doesnt work anymore. im really sorry." he said too silent it was almost a whisper. he turned his back. walked away and left me.
i was left crying on the floor. it was raining. i laughed loud.
my life is a big joke.
a louder laugh
"dont ever come near me again. im done with you. you suck. you dont even give me that much money. you dont treat me like others do. youre such a big poor kid!" stella, my best friend, shouted at me.
"stella, anong prank nanaman ba to? tigilan na natin to please..." i begged and hold her in her arms but she harshly removed it.
"yeah. itigil na natin to. tanga ka ba o manhid? di mo ba naintindihang kinaibigan kita para sa pera? tanga mo! poor ka na nga, tanga ka pa! pathetic!" she shouted. she left. she took my everything away. i thought she was real.
"no! you wouldnt do that! please stella stop this joke... please..." i kneeled in front of her. i took her hand and cried.
"im done with you sweetie. next time, be smarter okay?" she whispered to me and walked away.
i was left crying on the floor. it was raining. i laughed loud.
im such a big fool
loudest laugh
"im sorry to tell this mrs. gomez but your child is dying. she only have a 8 months left. that's all. im sorry." i heard the doctor said. i fainted awhile ago. i think i was out for 5 hours. i was faking asleep. trying not to cry.
im dying. i only have 8 months left. wow. clichè.
i can hear my mom sobbing. my dad comforting her. i pressed my eyes. a tear fell from my right eye. followed by the left. im dying.
my parents sat beside me, both crying. i opened my eyes. i stood up and ran to the hospital's garden.
again, i was left crying on the floor. it was raining. i laughed loud.
a man with rainbow streaks of hair was standing beside me, holding an umbrella of my favorite shade of violet. i smiled at him and he smiled back.
im fucking dying. but at least, someone cared.
last laugh
"how can we tell her she's adopted?" it was my mom. voice hoarse and sobs between words was heard. who can be that she? im their only child.
my dad whispered a faint 'i dont know'
my boyfriend left me, my best friend befriended me for money. im adopted.
i ran to my room. i can see in my peripheral view shocked faces of my parents.
i sat on the edge of my bed near the window.
then again, i was crying again. but it wasn't raining. the sun was up high, as if it's telling me everything's gonna be okay. i laughed, louder than my other laughs.
i wiped my tears off and smiled. a real smile.
i placed the teddy bear josh gave me and hugged the only family picture we had. and it was taken just yesterday. i placed the blanket on stella gave me on my 16th birthday. i smiled again.
it's september 30 today. tomorrow is october 1, my birthday. and the end of my 8 month duration. im adopted. a chuckle escaped from my mouth, it wasnt a laugh anymore.
im tired.
no more loud laughs
it's october 1, my birthday. i immediately took a pen and a paper.
'thank you mom. thank you dad. thank you for taking care of me. thank you for treating me as your real child even though im adopted. sorry for being stubborn. sorry kung pabigat ako. sorry, i owe you a lot.'
the letter was written in a messy hand writting. tears were falling from my eyes and the paper was the one to catch it. the ink was smudged by the tears. everything was evident. i was crying, hands shaking while writing.
i chuckled when i remembered my foster parents called my laugh 'angel's laugh' as if it was too precious.
'my angel's laugh will be heard in the next life, dont worry, i'll wait for you.
xoxo, your angel.' i added.
i smiled as i folded the paper into the envelope. i tiptoed to their room, making sure i wont disturb their slumber. i slid it through their door.
i was smiling while walking back to my room.
i'm ready to leave.
xxx
