You Don't Know

You don't know,

how much agony i'm going through..

You don't know,

how teribbly i am missing you..

You don't know,

that behind every sweet smile of mine, i am slowly tearing apart..

You don't know,

that behind my joyous laughter, i am slowly dying inside..

You don't know,

that behind these bright eyes of mine, my pillow is always wet with my tears at night..

You don't know,

that letting you go is like running up the Himalayas to and fro..

You don't know,

that eating and sleeping don't mean a thing for me, cause you've been my source of joy and living..

You don't know,

that i check my phone and e-mails once in a while, hoping i'll get a message for you..even just one..even just a simple "hi"..

You don't know,

that it hurts so much for me to hear the song that have been our theme..it just reminds me of you..

You don't know,

that it's hard for me to go to the places we used to..each in every place, i can see your smiling face..

You don't know,

that in this heart of mine that you promised to keep away from harm, you left a crack on it and now it's slowly falling apart..

You don't know,

that this soul of mine that you had treasure most, is starting to vanish..to fade away..to get lost..

You don't know,

how much that love meant to me..and now it's gone, far away from my grip..

Maybe now, i may not understand that things happen the way they should be..

But still, i wish..i'll find that little hope to help me forget all the things i loved about you..

It is just that, it aches in every part of my heart,

as i am slowly falling apart..

It's like you're comfortably sitting on the sunshine,

While here i am, inch by inch drowning in the rain..

I just don't know how to start anymore..

Your love was like a suicide..

It corrupted my feelings..

And left me scarred for life..

-xxEilujxx