Touche Cliche ― The Book of Cliches

-get to know me!

09. get to know me

Not that anyone would want to, ;-;. 

I don't know why I put an exclamation mark in the title. Anyways (how many times have I said 'anyways' throughout the course of this book?), let's get into this. Graphic content, blah, blah.

First name? 

Yoda 

Date of Birth?

 31/4/1900

Favourite song?

Find Me by TeZATalks

(I just listen to whatever YouTube recommends, though) 

[cringy one-year-old me is cringy]

Update! Favourite song is now...

'idontwannabeyouanymore' by Billie Eilish

Describe yourself [not even a question];

Okay, short, black hair in cornrows; dark skin; brown eyes; short as hell [the salt has to be heavily concentrated in a small body]; surprisingly fit for someone who has a diet consisting of Doritos, Wotsits, cheese, breakfast bars and Mountain Dew. 

Fear(s)? 

Spiders and belly buttons (don't ask). 

Age? 

Still an embryo.

How did you come up with your username? (my sister asked this one) 

My name can be shortened to Mercy, so I just spelt it like an emo and, boom, got 'merceii'. And, yes, I know I contradicted myself. 

Least favourite book written by you? 

A novella I wrote when I was 9 called 'Alibi', it was about this convicted felon named Vera who killed her husband who abused her (what was I doing when I was nine?) and had to provide an alibi by pointing fingers at her colleagues (maybe I should rewrite it). Anyway, Vera was completely unlikeable and I am sad to admit it, but I abused her abuse to turn her into a perfect person who shouldn't be blamed for murder, tampering with evidence, perjury, obstruction of justice and falsely imprisoning innocent people. 

Favorite food? 

Wotsits, for my non-British readers out there, they're basically cheese puffs. 

Nationality? 

Yeah, I'm British, but I use American spellings because why not?

Future occupation? 

Spoon...Okay, fine, author. 

Least favourite part of body? (why is this even here?)

 My skin: it's like 3 different shades; my face and neck are sunburnt; my stomach and back are my normal skin colour; and then my legs are way lighter than the rest. Can my body just make up its mind? 

Favourite part of body? (I'm running out of ideas) 

Everything. Just kidding, my eyes; even though they are dead and have very prominent black circles under them.