Bits and Pieces

Maybe

I don't know why. I always find myself here when I'm lost in thought. It was like my feet had a mind of its own. Yet, here I am standing a front of the biggest tree in my town. I looked up at the eighty-foot giant. The way it hangs over high above, watching those below as if guarding them from every evil in the world. I found its massive presence comforting. I sat down on one of the tree's mighty roots and let my back be supported by its trunk. I tilted my head towards the sky and let my thoughts wonder. The security I felt from the giant allowed me to sort out the problems I have in me. Maybe thats why I find myself coming back here so often. I come here every spare time I am able to get. After school, weekends, holidays, etc. It's not like I have anything else to do. I am not like those other fifteen-year-old girls in the ninth grade who only care about whether or not their make-up is okay or if the captain of the football team is total "eye candy". Unlike them, my life has quite a few bumps in the road that is pretty difficult to avoid. My dad and I are, currently, in financial debt. Dad has to work fifteen hours a day, seven days a week. With him working all the time, I was left to eat at the dinner table alone and do all the house chores. Its not like I have a problem with that. I've grown use to it. Though, things haven't always been like this. Dad wasn't always so tired and I wasn't always alone. It was when Mom was still alive. Before the car accident, we were happy. We smiled more. There was no debt to worry about and we spent every second together. After the death of Mom, my dad didn't take it so well. He drowned himself with his own sorrow and became careless. It dragged on for months until he was able to come back to his senses, but it was too late. We were already in a huge debt that seemed impossible to get out of. We were in a rough spot. Or so I was told. Since, I have no memory of my childhood. They said it was due to shock from the news of the death of my mom, but something from their voice made me believe otherwise. Maybe I was thinking too much into it. However, because I have no memory of my childhood, I am not able to recall who exactly my mother is or the joyous moments we had together as a family. All I have left to replace these forgotten memories are photos and videos from before I had amnesia. I would repeatedly go through them and look blankly at the stranger who is supposedly my mother. I looked through anything with her in it again and again until I was able to memorize what she looked like. She was beautiful. Long, sandy brown hair that falls perfectly down her back, green eyes that can be mistaken as emeralds, and a lean and strong body that can stand through anything life throws at it. But it wasn't her appearence that captivated me. It was her smile that caught my attention. Her smile brought a sense of warmth to those around her. Just her expression is able to make anyone's day. No wonder Dad fell in love with Mom. She was perfect. I asked Dad about Mom on his very rare days at home. I didn't want to bother him at his long awaited day off, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"Your mother?" he asked while taking a bite of the pizza we ordered from Pizza Hut. I nodded. "I want to know what kind of person she is."

Dad paused. He placed his pizza down and looked at the ring on his left hand, full of longing. The ring that he wheres every single day, as to signifies that Caroline Parker will forever be his one and only beloved. I shouldn't have ask. I made him think of the accident even though it was difficult for him to accept the fact that she's gone. There was nothing but silence between us and just when I thought I should just forget about it, he responded in a rough voice. "Your mother... She was a great woman." I looked at him. "No matter where she is, she is able to bring the light of everybody around her. She charmed anyone who laid there eyes on her." Dad chuckled to himself. "How did I became so lucky?" I silently absorbed every word as he went on. "She was absolutely lovely, but can be quite stubborn too. She fusses over the littlest things and cannot take no as an answer. Though, I still find that side of her adorable." He lifted his ring to his lips and lightly kissed it, before he could continue describing my mother. "And... Everything about her... was genuine. Not one thing about her was a lie or fake. Your mother is always honest to herself and everybody around her. Sometimes, too honest." Dad smiled, the first I seen in ages. "Did you know your mother was the one who chose your name, Faith?" I stared at him. "What?" My voice was barely a whisper. "It was the day you were born. Your mother was finish going through labor with you and was still full of energy. She held you dearly, and I asked 'What are we gonna name her?' She glanced up and gave me a broad smile. 'Faith. I want our daughter to be confident of herself.'" Dad held his gaze towards me and began to tear up. "Dad..." I came over and tried my best to comfort him. I don't know what to do during situations like this, but I can't just leave my own dad crying. He held my face, tears streaking down his cheeks, and said "You look just like your mother..." I was surprise by his words. Me? Like Mom? No matter how hard I see it, I have taken none of my mother traits. I have short, mousy hair that can easily be mistaken as a bird nest, hazel eyes, and I definitely don't have a great and curvy body. Heck, I can probably be mistaken as a kid with my height and body! I am anything but beautiful. I wanted to ask him more questions about Mom, but I kept them to myself. Its probably best not to pry anymore then I already have. I don't wanna bring back unwanted thoughts. That night, I let my mind drift off to what Dad said about Mom. If only I have my memories back, I thought, then maybe I would be more confident in myself like what Mom wanted me to be. Maybe I will be more like the other girls my age and actually fit in with them. Maybe I would be able to express my feelings instead of keeping it in all the time... Maybe... Just maybe... With that, I fell into a dreamless sleep.