Addiction

The beginning of the fall

Jumin Han was a man who was generally very quiet and reserved, his whole life he kept how he felt to himself and only very few people would be allowed in, these are the people that he could trust fully and knew they would never betray him. One of these people was Jihyun Kim, his best friend for just about 20 years, he cared deeply about him and realised that he probably couldn't live without Jihyun. His life was perfect at present, the RFA had a new member, work was going well, his father had eased up on how many girlfriends he was seeing and they had decided to have a party again to raise money for charity and he was even getting along better with Zen, nothing could go wrong. 

Now back to present day. 

Jumin was depressed and had been since he found out Jihyun was shot, this was something that was very hard to manage and he found it almost impossible to cope with the feeling of loneliness he was experiencing currently. It was hard and Jumin, a man who has very rarely cried in his life, found himself crying almost every day over the loss of Jihyun, it was a strange sensation as he hated crying but all the little things would set him off. Having a glass of Jihyun's favourite wine, watching the sunset like they used to do when they were little, seeing Elizabeth was the worst though. Since Jihyun bought his dear Elizabeth for him, seeing her made his heart ache and a lump form in his throat, it was so difficult to comprehend how he was feeling. Jaehee had noticed the change at work and she booked Jumin an appointment with a therapist to see if it would help Jumin bounce back and be able to work. It was the wrong move, Jumin didn't want to talk to a stranger and pour out his feelings, it didn't really go well but the therapist could instantly tell, from the information Jumin provided, that he had emotionally unstable personality disorder (borderline personality disorder). 

Getting this diagnosis was hard, on top of everything else, he didn't want to have a label like this but he did now and had to live with this. He felt like there was something wrong with him now but looking back on his life, it explained a lot, his fear of loosing Jihyun, his impulsive behaviour every now and again, the fact he was so quick to anger, it all added up and Jumin just never put two and two together. With all the stress of the past month Jumin had enough and became withdrawn and isolated. He started smoking and drinking excessively, he refused to come out of his penthouse and he rarely logged into the chatroom, everyone was worried but he made his bodyguards turn everyone away if they came, which no one did thankfully, until one day Jaehee was stressed and needed help, so she asked Zen to go and check on Jumin. At first he really didn't want to but no one else was available to go over so with a heavy sigh Zen walked out of his little apartment, got on his bike and made his way to Jumin's home. He was nervous as people like Jumin always made him feel intimidated from the fact Jumin was so rich and lived a completely different life to his. But Zen would admit he was worried about, yes they all missed Jihyun but he was worried for Jumin the most sense he seemed to be taking it really badly. 

As he drove there Zen got this dreaded feeling in his stomach that something was wrong, he had never been to Jumin's place but from where he parked he could tell there was this dark atmosphere around the place, it made him nervous. Zen was trying to prepare himself for what he may see, so far it was as he expected, rich people all round the building, body guards everywhere and then the big fancy elevator up to the top floor where Jumin lived. He wouldn't admit it, because he was stubborn mostly, but this place was nice and everyone seemed nice enough but the dreaded feeling grew as the elevator got closer to Jumin's floor. Zen started questioning why he was so nervous, he was never nervous unless meeting a huge director, however he had promised to do this for Jaehee and he stepped out after they arrived on the top floor. Zen took a look around and he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he felt a little strange being up here, but he noticed instantly that the bodyguards seemed off as well. He walked up and spoke shyly "Uh...I'm here to see Jumin, could you tell him it's Zen, please". The bodyguards checked his ID to be sure it was Zen then they came in as Jumin was making himself some coffee and announced that Zen was there. He raised his eyebrows and then stared into his empty cup for a moment before speaking with a hoarse throat "It's okay, let him in". 

After getting the orders from Jumin the bodyguards moved out of the way and let Zen walk in freely. Zen was nervous as he noticed Jumin's place was very dark and it was the middle of the day, he walked in and was instantly hit with the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke, Zen knew instantly that Jumin was not okay and he closed the door behind him. He saw a trail of empty bottles of wine and whiskey and cigarette butts everywhere and he followed the sounds of the coffee maker into the kitchen. Zen stopped in the doorway and he felt his heart drop when he seen Jumin.