Addiction

Is that really you?

Zen stood there for a moment in shock and he couldn't believe what he was seeing, Jumin was like a skeleton, his skin was pale white and his eyes were sunken and had dark circles round them. He tried to avoid making Jumin feel bad about his appearance and he walked in with a soft smiled "Hey Jumin...how are you feeling?" Jumin looked at him and spoke softly so that Zen wouldn't catch on to the fact that Jumin had a sore throat "I'm fine, sorry the place is a mess, i wasn't expecting company..." Jumin was now very embarrassed about everything he had left out, the fact he hadn't washed in a while and the fact he had always prided himself on his appearance and his control he had over his mind, but at the moment he was portraying the opposite of everything he had worked so hard to become. 

 Zen after standing there for a moment walked over and tried to act like his usual self, the narcissistic good looking guy who always felt like his beauty could shine in every situation "Jeez trust fund, i'll need to get you on my beauty regimen so that you can look as young and almost as beautiful as me" Zen chuckled quietly to himself and tried to lighten the mood. Jumin however wasn't even aware of his appearance as it had been weeks since he forced himself to look into a mirror and looked a little surprised that Zen was being nice "Ah...thank you Zen, i appreciate it" Zen was stunned, Jumin actually thanked him and was willing to take his advice, this is how he knew something was seriously wrong and Zen mustered up the courage and came over and put his hand gently on Jumin's shoulder and spoke softly "Trust-...Jumin...please tell me what's going on, you don't look yourself, i can smell smoke and drink and you haven't been into work in weeks"

Jumin stopped what he was doing and set down the coffee cup, this one simple question set him off and he dropped the spoon from his hands and covered his mouth as he let a few tears roll down his cheek "I just miss Jihyun so much...you all accepted Saeran into the RFA but i can't. every time i see him i want to make him suffer the same fate, why did he have to take Jihyun away from me?!" Jumin had broken once more. This was hard for Zen to watch and as much as he was stubborn, Zen pulled Jumin into a hug and let the taller male cry into his shoulder as he rubbed his back. Then Zen spoke softly to try and reassure Jumin "I'm so sorry...we all miss him Jumin but i can't imagine how you feel, do you want me to stay and you can talk to me about it?" He was very worried as he had never seen Jumin even show an ounce of emotions and now he watched the CEO in line break his heart in front of him. This was a lot more than he expected if he was honest but who could really blame Jumin. 

Jumin attempted to stop his tears and sighed gently  as he tried to not act so weakly in front of Zen, but it couldn't be helped, every time he tried to stop his tears they just kept flowing. He hated this, he hated showing emotion and what made it worse is that he had other things on his mind beside Jihyun's death. To make this whole month even worse his father was now trying to force him to marry a woman he found for Jumin, it made his blood boil that his father thought he could control Jumin just because he was vulnerable at the moment. Zen brought Jumin into the main room and they sat down so they could talk, Zen had never been so worried for someone in his life, it was strange, Zen had always liked Jumin but he was a very stubborn man and wouldn't let his feelings ruin the career he worked so hard for. Zen was torn as all he wanted to do was hug Jumin, kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay but he didn't feel it was the right time for that. Jumin however took Zen's hand and squeezed it as he spoke softly "Zen...am i being pathetic? I feel I am letting everyone down and everyone will be ashamed of me for acting this way, I have been so stupid these past few weeks or month I don't know how long it's been or even what day it is"

Zen held his hand and looked at him hoping he was able to find the words to comfort Jumin how he needed, after taking a small breath in he breathed out slowly as he spoke "No. I don't think you're being pathetic, going through everything that you're facing takes a lot out of someone, i'm surprised you haven't fled the country, why what have you done to be stupid? Smoking is a little silly but then i would be a hypocrite and you always drink so what's the issue?2 He tilted his head slightly and looked over Jumin to try and figure out what was wrong. It took him a few moments but he had to ask "Jumin...you aren't harming yourself are you?" 

Jumin looked at him and felt his face go pale and his heart drop, he wasn't sure how to speak to anyone about this and he just looked away, becoming his usual stubborn self "N-no...not really, i don't know, but can you please not tell anyone? About any of this? I'm a mess and i don't want people to think of me this way" Zen took a moment and looked down at Jumin's arms to see what he had done, it made his stomach turn and his heart drop that he didn't realise how much Jumin was suffering. He couldn't believe that he was so stupid and didn't even bother to ask him how he was doing after Jihyun's funeral. He felt guilty and felt a few tears form as he pulled Jumin into a hug.