dream log

one

the setting of this dream was back in north carolina. specifically at my house, except all the construction and highway was not going on in the background. it was a lush stretch of land with woods on the distance. we still had the creek as well.

right before the creek, i had a little wooden cabin. but it wasn't like your conventional cabin in the woods. it was a cabin that i had helped my dad make or something. it was my cabin, right by the creek.

i kept little personal things in the cabin. i think the cabin was just made so there wasn't really any chairs or furniture of any kind. i remember me shuffling papers and sorting through some things as i sat on the floor. we hadn't built a door yet so there was just an open doorway facing the creek. i sat facing that doorway as i looked at my papers.

i'm pretty sure what i kept in that cabin was like personal letters, stories i had written, journal entires, written memories, memories written on paper that were much of value.

as i sorted through those papers, i looked up through the doorway to the creek because i had heard something. i saw some brush move by the creek and i sat upright to try to see if anything was there. i heard the sound again so i got up and walked out of the cabin, towards the creek and towards the sound.

i stood a couple of feet back from the edge of the creek and i looked down and across the creek. there he was standing, with a friend that i can't recognize now playing this dream back.

it was gabe. my breath hitched in my throat as my eyes met his. he looked the same. same long hair. same hazel green eyes. same fair skin. he was the same. the only difference being that 2 years has passed since we last saw or spoke to each other.

i don't know where the dream took off from that point. i don't know how we got past that point, if that makes sense. or how i began talking to him. his friend disappeared or something and we started to talk. i cant remember specifics now but we were laughing and having a good time.

then, the same day, i remember having a lot of people over at my house. it was either my party or my parents party. i don't remember any one in specific though. there was a lot of people in my cabin and i was making conversation with them. i'm pretty sure it was my party with my friends because of events that will happen soon.

i had lost track of gabe and i had no idea where he was. i had a feeling that he went home or something, without saying goodbye.

this is where it gets a little wild. i think my parents were coming home or something. so out of nowhere a big tunnel slide appears. it was a big and long tunnel slide so everyone could fit with plenty of space, and we were sliding down. the slide led to the creek as like an escape method.

then i found gabe again, he was sliding beside we and had a smile on his face. he took my hand in his as we kept on sliding. our friends slid within well range of us on the ginormous tunnel.

i saw the light from the opening of slide and we got our landing in the creek. all of our friends were already running for the meadow. we were soaking wet. gabe took my hand again and pulled me along as we got out of the creek and started running along the meadow.

there was high grass and a lot of lavender colored flowers. the sky was a light grey with the sun reaching across before it disappeared beyond the trees. some starts peeked out and freckled the sky.

we ran through the meadow away from the cabin, away from my house, away from everything. in that moment i remember feeling free and like this was where i was supposed to be.

gabe was pulling me along as we ran by my hand and we laughed together. i pulled back and came to a stop. we caught our breaths looking back, expecting to see my cabin and house. but nothing was there. it was all just meadow and our friends were gone. it was just us standing in the middle of the tall grass.

we kept on running, kept on running. then he and i sat at the edge of the woods and talked. there was a lot of laughing and smiling. vividly, i remember him tackling me playfully and us rolling around on the floor, making a fool of ourselves, but we were so happy. eventually when it got later and the sky was a darker shade of blue, we decided to go back to the cabin.

we walked back this time. i remember our hands hitting as we walked alongside each other. gabe looked over and glanced at me as his hand fit with mines.

gabe and i got back to my cabin, everyone was gone and the mess from the party was all gone. almost like the party had never happened. there was no slide too. we sat on the floor together, exactly where i had sat by myself at the beginning of the dream. we sat criss cross across from each other and we talked some more.

i took out my papers and journals. i read some entries and stories with him and he smiled as he listened to me read all these memories i had made by myself, without him, for the past 2 years. it interested him hearing about my life, i put away my things, we talked some more and he shared stories and memories from his life from the past 2 years.

i don't remember our conversations in detail. but this moment sticks out to time the strongest.

we were really close now sitting across from each other on the floor. i put my hands on both side of his face. he stared back at me and his eyes were a dark green color. in that split 3-5 seconds. i studied him as best as i could because i didn't know when i would see his face again.

his skin was beautiful, barely any blemishes. only the slightest hint of red against his fair skin on his nose and cheeks. his high cheekbones in the lamp light cast shape and shadow onto his face. this eyebrows were dark, strong and prominent as they sat perfectly arched and poised above his eyes. his eyes followed with long lashes that curled the slightest bit upwards. his nose captured his personality the best, it was so cute and straight with a slight button at the tip. his jaw sir sharp like stone. then his lips, which were just there waiting for me to finish the kiss we never got to share before he left.

i leaned forward and we kissed. he didn't hesitate at all either. he went right in. his lips were so soft against mines. my hands eventually moved to his shoulders and his hand moved to the side of my face. we even started making out for a split second. the way he kissed me and moved with me was the exact same. we pulled away and i smiled so hard. i rested my head on his shoulder facing his chest. i closed my eyes and couldn't believe the was here with me.

what strikes me the most was the detail of the kiss. it felt so real. i swear to you that i woke up from this dream still feeling his lips on mines.

i don't remember him saying goodbye or ever leaving. the dream just ended with him and i sitting on the floor of my cabin as he held me. there were words exchanged before the kiss and after, what he said gave me hope that i would see him again.

i woke up the next morning, in real life, swearing on everything that was alive that my dream was real. it felt real. i remember feeling the rough callous on his palms as we held hands. i remember every minuscule detail about that dream. i was so real to me. my brain tried to convince we that that dream was real. sadly is wasn't.

but now that i've thought about it, i've actually absorbed the dream. since i never got to say goodbye to gabe in real life, and things between us ended in an unspoken way. the dream was a creation of some scenario where we did get to say goodbye and i was at peace.

to end this all off, the purpose of this dream was giving me the closure i never had with him. maybe now that i've had this dream, i can finally be in the right mindset when thinking about him. maybe now i won't feel so empty and sad when thinking about him. maybe i can finally move on from him. maybe just maybe.