Undefinable Black & Blue

Connor followed a waitress to a table in the back of the restaurant where he found his date waiting for him. "Connor?" Olivia stood up as she saw him. "Olivia, hi." said Connor with a goofy smile on his face. The girl gave him a repugnant look. Connor's smile quickly changed to a feigned look of confusion. "What, do I have something in my teeth?"

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Connor spent an absurd amount of time in front of his mirror. He went through his mental checklist over and over: hair slicked back, teeth sparkling, blazer tidy, socks matching, shoes polished. Perfect, and yet Connor felt like there was something off. He let out a long sigh as he squinted his eyes looking closely in the mirror for what he was missing. Connor looked at his watch. Forty minutes. Forty minutes until Connor had his first date with Olivia. He could feel his nerves already getting the best of him.

"Pants!" Connor exclaimed in an epiphany. He forgot to put on his pants. He shook his head and mumbled insults to himself as he walked over to his closet and pulled out a pair of pants that complemented his blazer well. He put them on, double checking the zipper was up, and then went downstairs. He gathered the necessities such as his wallet and phone and headed out of the door.

Connor pulled into the parking lot of the closest grocery store and went straight to the floral section. He looked at the variety of colors on display. His eyes fell on the red roses. They had something beautiful about them... a kind of beauty that screamed 'I love you', something that probably shouldn't be screaming at a girl on a first date together as far as Connor was concerned. His eyes then wondered to a bouquet of daisies. They were nice, but Connor wasn't going for nice.

A bouquet of vibrant blue flowers caught Connor's attention. It wasn't the kind of flower that asked for a girl's hand in marriage, but it wasn't the kind that was given to a crush in middle school either. No, these flowers were something else. They were undefinable in every way. They expressed a sense of warmth. They expressed the hope that all people contain on a first date. They expressed-

"Excuse me." An elder woman stepped in front of Connor and grabbed the bouquet of blue flowers. As she hobbled away Connor tried to get her attention. "Um, Ma'am. Excuse me. Ma'am!" Connor walked up to the gray woman. "Sorry, those are kind of my flowers." In the sweetest old person voice imaginable the woman replied "What do you mean?"

"Well you see I was standing in front of those flowers ready to pick them up and buy them and you took them." The old woman nodded her head for a second. "Yes, I did take them. They are so beautiful, aren't they?" Connor became anxious about the time he was wasting having this conversation. " Yes they are, so if I could please have them back I-" "But you didn't have them in the first place." "Well, I know. But I was going to." "I'm sorry." The woman turned to walk away but Connor stopped her.

"I was standing in front of them." "You were standing there for a while, I assumed you were just looking." "Yeah, I was- I was having an internal monologue about them." The woman stared at Connor. "Pardon?" Connor let out a sigh, looking up from his watch. "You, know. I was mentally explaining to myself why I was buying those flowers." "I don't know what you are saying sweetie, but I have to go now." Connor was frustrated. He needed to get those flowers and he needed to get to his date.

"Okay, okay. Listen, I really need those flowers for a date so I will pay you, whatever you want. Please, can I have the flowers?" The woman took a moment to think it over, some may even say she was internally monologuing to herself. "Well if you really need them then deal." Connor gave a sigh of relief as he pulled out his wallet. "How much?" "Fifty." Connor looked up at the elder woman for a moment. He wasn't going to pay fifty dollars for supermarket flowers. "That's absurd. You want fifty dollars for those? How about twenty-five?" "Maybe forty-five." "That's absurd! Ma'am can you find-"

A deep voice interrupted Connor's pleading. "Hey Mama, what's taking so long?" Connor looked behind himself to find a six-foot giant walking up behind him. The monster of a man was covered in tattoos that only stopped where his clothes began. Connor froze. "Nothing, I'm fine, dear." The old women went to walk passed Connor, but (in retrospect, stupidly) he stepped in between the old woman and her abnormally large son. Before Connor could get a word out the man put a large hand on his shoulder "Whoa, what the hell are you doing? I know you're not harassing my mama."

The man one handedly turned Connor to face him and gave him a shove back. Connor was frozen. he could only get out a chain of "no"s but the man kept approaching him. Connor kept taking steps back as he tried to put words together before he got his ass kicked. "This is really just a misunderstanding." Connor said with a nervous chuckle, but the man didn't look amused. "Sure doesn't look like one." Replied the approaching giant. Before Connor could bite his tongue he replied the only way he knew how, like a smart ass. "Well see that's the thing about misunderstandings. They never look the way you'd expect them to." Connor's back hit the shelf of cereal behind him and he couldn't back away from the approaching man any further. Connor looked around. The man was surely too big to be able to catch him if he ran to the far right or left of him. Instead of pouncing at him like Connor expected, the man put his hand to his mouth and whistled. Why did he whistle?

As if the giant man were from a bad movie, his whistle summoned two more giant, heavily tattooed men who now stood at the sides of the main one. Connor gulped as he accepted that he was going to die. Connor looked passed the large men and met the eyes of the elderly woman who was holding the bouquet of blue flowers. Connor saw his only hope. He mouthed the word "please" to the woman. She stared at him for what felt like an eternity to Connor. Then with a wave, the elder woman said to Connor "Have a nice night, dear." and she hobbled away with the undefinable blue flowers in hand.

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"And everything after that has been mentally blocked out due to the pain the mean men inflicted." said Connor as he took a sip of his water. "So why did you still go on this date?" asked Olivia with a look of confusion that hadn't left her face the entire time Connor told his story. Connor looked at Olivia with the most sincere look he could offer her through the bruises on his face. "This place has free breadsticks."