suicide and homicide {jthm x reader}

its finally time

Hello, my name is (y/n) and i have been labled the 'suicidal maniac' now you may be asking 'why' well let me tell you. I have gained so much depression from my past years. My mom gave birth to me at the age of 15 and my dad was 25, but my dad is no pedofile. My mom was in a club with a fake I.d that said she was 26, but that obviously wasn't true. Her family took my dad to court and he was going to be scented until the Young girl said she loved him and is happy that she is going to have a baby, and the fact that she tricked my dad, he said he did love her and he would take care of the child. He was let go and just a few months later she gave birth. They watched their house be built and moved in as soon as it was done, her, her mom and her husband. They were pretty wealthy. I mean. I got whatever I wanted and more. My grandma was the best, I used to call her my secret mom. But then my mom would go on to get some friends that would deeply influence her. They went to casinos and spent lots of money. Then she would buy lots if alcohol. My dads patience was running thin. One day he learned that my mom had fallen in love with someone else, a gay man. And she knew he was gay. And a pedo. he would touch me a lot but never really did anything to drastic. My dad devorced her new found love and left her. The gay man soon left her and never came back. She would get unrulingly drunk and start doing drugs and my two cousins would come to babysit me while she was either high or passed out. I was always with my grandma but when i wasnt I was with my two cousins who were 10. well one day, and I don't know why, one of them raped me. And I didnt understand what was going on. I was 5. Then in the same month the other one did. This continued until I was 6. then my grandmas two daughter came and took her Away from use cause they thought she had lots of money. When they found out she didn't they put her in an old peoples home. Well the lights and the water was turned off. And since my grandma sold the house we were forced to move to San Jose to go live with my uncle who is a drunk. My mom and my uncle were always a sleep. And there was nothing to eat. Until they would have party's. But there wasnt that much food. Probably some chips and beer. I would go out to the local market with a backpack and steal food. Until i got caught. I was sent home with three pizzas. I was happy. But only for a little while. Hardly any clothes to wear. We were kicked out and moved to a homeless shelter. Mind you. I havent went to not a single school. We moved to 4 different homeless shelters and I had to endure abuse mentally and physically almost everyday from my drunk mother. Until we eventually got a house. We were there for 2 years and the whole 2 years I had to take care of my 2 year old sister. I would have to go out and steal food and stuff for higine. I was finally put I'm school and was put in the wrong grade. A 8 year old in the 7th grade. One day i lost a bike that she never used and didn't even buy and she beat me with a 2by4. She broke yet another bone. My wrist. My auntie took me to the doctor and I told them what happened. They did nothing but send me home. I would always run away. But being alone In the ghetto wasn't good for a 8 year old. Until my teacher kept seeing me on the streets. me and my sister were finally taken away. We went to a foster home. I had fresh clothes and a shower. I was happy. But my sister wasn't. The next day my dad came to pick me up. But he couldn't take my sister. Him and His girlfriend had a baby. Aperantly my dad always talked about me and his girlfriend didnt like it. She treated me like shit when my dad wasnt around. I couldnt have any toys, or even go outside without taking her child. I had to basically take that child everywhere and give her all of my stuff. When I turned 9 my aggression started getting stronger. I would hit the child everytime she stole, hit, yelled at me. Then I was put in counciling and angers managment. They tried to help with my depression and my anger problems. But they also discovered i have really bad adhd and add. I have energy sperts and am really loud. I yell at randome times and for no reason. It looked like I was happy but it was just my constant energy. I looked like I was on crack constantly. That's where I get my maniac title. They couldn't help me so they stopped the counciling and angers management. This living went on until one night me and his girlfriend got into an argument. I went to sleep that night thinking I was finally done with fighting with her. But she jumped on me and began to strangle me with her own two hands. I couldnt breathe. I scratched kicked and bit. But she wouldn't stop. I couldn't breath and my vision went black and I stopped moving. My dad burst through the locked door and pulled her off of me. She was screaming. "IF WE GET RID OF HER WE CAN BE HAPPY. WE CAN GET MARRIED" my dad threw her out the house and we went to the hospital the next day. She tried to get my dad arrested. But that didn't work. Our lives were better when she left. I went to school. Got bullied and just lived on. Until I turned 18 and went to an art instatute. I didnt mention at all but I am an artist, a cartoonist and a comic artist. It went well until my mom came asking for money so she could take care of her new child. So I did. I gave her money. And I kept on giving her money. Now I am 20 years old. Barely able to take care of myself and barely able to eat. But that doesn't matter now!. Because its finally going to happen. IM FINALLY GOING TO DIE. I took lots of pills and drank floor cleaner. Now I'm just walking around town waiting for death. I will just drop dead. I'm feeling kind of woozie. meaning, ITS ALMOST TIME.

///JESUS CHRIST.
Thus is based off of my life so yeah.