No Way Out

Chapter 1

Hannah sat on her bed staring out the little crack that was left slightly open on her bedroom curtains. She could see that it was going to be one those days. You know, those days when you could walk around the neighborhood for hours just listening to the birds chirping or even take your kids to the park and let them run around until they passed out with a massive grin on their face. But it wouldn't be that way. Not today. Not tomorrow. Probably not ever. It hadn't been that way so long.

She couldn't remember what it felt like to make a decision for herself, to take one tiny step outside without permission or to even breathe without first asking how long that breath was allowed to last. Being held captive, especially in your own home surrounded by people who are supposed to love, honor, cherish and protect you until, as the saying at your wedding goes, "death do us part", is something she wishes on no one. Not even him.  

Him. Hannah remembered a time when she didn't just think of the man she slept next to each night as him. He had a real name. He was fun. He was loving. Or was he? Was he ever anything more than him? She couldn't remember those times either. She couldn't remember a lot of things anymore. Another gift from him.

Now, with very little idea of what she was allowed to do, what? What in the world was she going to do with herself on a day like today? Her 2 kids, Rachel and Radcliffe (and the name fit, he was 9 and American going on 90 and British) were getting ready for their summer long day camps and him was about to leave so he could, "change the world" and "actually do something with my life." Hannah could never figure out why he said things like that to her. And why he always felt the need to say it in front of the kids. They already loved him more. He bought them every toy they asked for, all the clothes they would help them be cool at school and gave them all the crazy attention they craved. Why did he feel the need to make her look like the idiot she was in front of them? Couldn't he try to lift her up, so they would actually love her and listen to her? Of course not. Not him.

"Oh, Hannah Banana!" He yelled up the stairs in that sing songy voice he always used when he called her that nickname which made the kids giggle with delight. He actually used that voice whenever he talked to her around the kids. It made his insults seem funny or not real. Or maybe both, because they didn't seem to notice or even care. They usually just laughed with him when he made them. "Are you going to ever grace us with your ever important presence? This breakfast we are all waiting for isn't going to make itself."

"I'm coming, Randy. I'm coming. Just give me a few quick seconds, please." Hannah said back in response to his request. It has short and simple, she thought. But maybe it was too short and too simple. Maybe it was too abrupt. Maybe, no not maybe, she was going to get herself in trouble for this too.

"If it's too difficult for you get out of bed and do one simple task, don't worry about it. We will just grab something on the way. At least it will actually be edible that way." The kids cracked up over their heroes, "joke". They always did.

Hannah walked down the stares with a smile firmly planted on her face. Like she always did. It was either that or cry and she wasn't allowed to do that around him.

"I'm here now, but I'm guessing you need to go already. Sorry for holding you up, like I always do."

"Oh honey, it's ok. We all make stupid mistakes. Some more than others, sure." He said with a wink towards the kids. "But, like you said, we need to go and don't have time to discuss it now."

Discuss was his word for ridicule, shame, laugh at and rip to shreds. Hooray, Hannah thought, what a fantastic evening he had planned for her.

"Tell your mother goodbye and I'll meet you in car." He said as he glared at her with a telling look that confirmed to her exactly what she already knew. Tonight really would be a doozy.

Rachel gave Hannah the sideways hug that all teenagers gave their parents. What would happen if one of her friends walked by and saw Rachel showing her love for her mother? Social suicide.

Radcliffe, on the other hand, ran up and gave her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. He usually did this, but today he held her a little longer than normal. She felt loved. A feeling she could hardly remember.

As Radcliffe pulled away, he put a piece of paper in her hand that had what looked like a phone number on it. Her body seemed to give way a little as Radcliffe gave her another big hug.

This time he didn't give her a kiss, but whispered something in her ear that shocked her to her very core.

"You deserve better, mom. Leave him."