Wednesday, May 30th, 2018
Approximately 153 days to go
Today was just a normal day. Studying, watching tv, and talking to him. My days lately had been filled with stress but yet it was filled with nothing. My brain had found a routine but I guess you could say it wasn't the best. I was getting so tired of all of this and yet I had no choice but to deal with it. MAybe that's just how its supposed to be or maybe that's just my brain trying to come to terms with all of this but I don't know. I don't know how to handle it all. You see everyone tells you deployments are hard but what they don't tell you is they can drive you to a point of crazy that you never even thought existed.
Anyways today I told him something. I told him I had this game called pubg. it was funny to see his reaction because I know he plays it practically every day. Although I have to say he is adorable when he is angry. Haha. He did not appreciate that I hadn't told him sooner, but oh well. I guess if I'm being honest I got the game to feel closer to him in a way. I felt that maybe if I played a game that he himself was so addicted to that it would make me feel a little closer to him. Maybe that sounds silly or ridiculous but that was just my thought process.
The days seem so long. I can't believe that it has only been two weeks. I weeks so much longer. I haven't even reached the first-month mark and I'm already going insane. NOt saying I want already little insane but I mean since he has been gone I feel like now I see how my world was without him but through different eyes and I don't like it, not one little bit. I suppose that what others have said was right I was living in a world that was under the complete and utter control of my mother and now I know that. I know now that I'm so much better than that and that no one has a right to control me or my life.
My mother is happy that he is gone but you know shes, my mom. She's just happy that now she thinks she can put me back under her spell. That my dear friends are never going to happen. She can try all day every day but she won't break me. She can't I'm not that little girl anymore. I won't let her even affect me in the slightest. I love my mother I really do but she has to learn to let things go because if not she is just going to lose everyone and everything. She is just too controlling and I'm sorry but there are so many people already who are over her bullshit. Noone wants to deal with her anymore and honestly now I can see why because I'm getting there too.
Days gone: 15
YOU ARE READING
The Struggles and Confessions of a Military Girlfriend.
Non-FictionMy boyfriend has just been deployed. Everyday is a struggle with lots of things and everyday its so hard to not just want to turn into sleeping beauty herself until my hero comes back to kiss me awake. Maybe you understand, maybe you don't. But this...
