The Struggles and Confessions of a Military Girlfriend.

Day 26

Friday, June 1st, 2018
Approximately 151 days to go

Today my mind is trying to relax but that's proving to be harder than you can imagine. I'm just glad that I'm escaping to my aunt's house. this is going to be one of the last times that I see the kids until I come home from Colorado. you know they don't like that. I'm tired. you would think I possibly couldn't be because of the amount of sleep I got but yet I am. I'm so exhausted I have to force myself out of bed. I don't feel good whatsoever. I am nauseous. I'm hungry. I'm tired but I just think its the stress. I mean what else could it be. my dreams are starting to be all weird again. I also blame the stress for that one too. I guess the highlight since you've been gone has been the stress. its all I ever feel anymore. I guess that doesn't sound good to you but fuck babe I am. I'm stressed as hell. I started praying again but I bet you already know that. I don't know how to deal with all of this. but then again does anyone? but honey I'm losing my mind. I'm about .27 seconds from having a mental breakdown. did you know that? have I told you that my brain feels like an elephant is sitting on it? there's a pain inside and it won't go away. there's a stress in my head that makes me want to fall to my knees and cry in agony. I just want things to go back to normal but that just won't happen and I already know that. I guess in a sense I just want to be by myself but at the same time, I fucking hate being alone. its like suddenly all these words are in my head and I'm trying to tell people what they are but I don't know how to turn them into real words. I feel so disconnected with everything and everyone and yet no one notices. its like suddenly I'm invisible again.

Days gone: 17