Monday, June 4th, 2018
Approximately 148 days to go
Today I woke up with such unknown feelings. It felt like last night was merely a dream. Like it was impossible for it to happen and so I woke up and I took myself into the bathroom and I took another test and I waited. I waited for what could only deem like hours but was merely a minute. I stood there shocked because this was real. I didn't just dream it up. My boyfriend and I were going to have a baby. Oh dear lord. I'm going to have a baby! I don't even know what to feel I am shocked and amazed and happy and overall just filled with joy. I told my therapist today, I told her everything. From the baby to my future with you babe. I wonder what this will means for us. Not just now but later in life. I already know you are going to be the best father ever. I already see you with our baby. I wonder what he or she will look like. Will they look more like you or me? Will they have your curly dark hair or my wavy auburn hair? Will they have your lips or mine? I just want to see them already. That sounds crazy, right? to barely know that I am pregnant and to already want to meet our mini-me? Is that crazy? I don't want to think that it is but I can't help but feel like it is. A little crazy I mean. I know that we already have names picked out so I guess that's a good thing. I'm scared. Like I don't know how to deal with this. What if I'm a bad mom? What if I'm like my mom? Oh please, baby don't ever let me be a mom like my mother. I don't know how to feel other than the emotions I've already explained and maybe this sounds a little repetitive but I just am in shock you know? Like I wasn't expecting it you know? My mind feels so jumbled. I wish you were her babe maybe this would all seem more real. Maybe I would be able to take this a lot better. I literally don't have anything else to say so I'm just leaving this at this.
Days gone: 20
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The Struggles and Confessions of a Military Girlfriend.
Não FicçãoMy boyfriend has just been deployed. Everyday is a struggle with lots of things and everyday its so hard to not just want to turn into sleeping beauty herself until my hero comes back to kiss me awake. Maybe you understand, maybe you don't. But this...
