Just friends

5.Broken

(recap)

" I love you " I whispered " as a best friend right " I looked down and slowly shook my head while saying " no as more " it was silent for a while so I slowly raised my head to look at him he was shaking his head .

" im with jane " he said as he turned and run out of my room slamming the door as he left . I fell into the ground crying and screaming I was broken he choose her . he hates me now . he left me . he's gone

I felt so alone and hurt I just kept crying until I fell asleep on my bedroom floor cold and alone.

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( Casi P.O.V )

I woke up still laying on the floor my skin was a cold as ice i started to shiver violently i slowly stood up as my bones creaked in disagreement ignoring my aching body a slowly walked into the bathroom hoping a nice hot bath would help my body lossen up again.

As i waited for the tub to fill i tried to stretch but the pain from my back made me stop the movement after everything last night i completely forgot about the bruise on my back , taking for my shirt i turn and looked at the big purple bruise throw the mirror it looked really bad i finally understood why the guys reacted the way they did i would do the same thing if i was in there position.

Once the bath was filled i undressed and got in i also put music on hoping to block out my thoughts cause i am not ready to think about last night it will completely break me but the constant pain in my chest was hard to ignore. i just can not believe that i finally told him how i really felt and he choose her after everything he still choose her, did i really mean that little too him . this was the exact reason i didn't want to tell zach but now its to late he gone and i'm all alone.

Mum is never home always away on some trip , i still have the guy but they are also zach's best friends and i cant asked them to pick between us , they where his friends first i wont make them choose ill just keep my distance from them until zach isn't so mad at me anymore. i just wanted the pain in my chest to be gone so it would be easier to pretend that i was fine, that i didn't love him the way i do i know its wrong and i shouldn't but i cant hep it.

I laid my head but against the tub sighing so much for not thinking about zach i glanced to my right looking at the cabinet under the sink knowing that a few feet from me was a little box hidden behind every and in the little box was razors that i hidden when i made a promise with myself that i would never do that again but laying here now it feels like the only way to soothe my pain.

I was fighting with myself trying to make a decision that i didn't realize that my body was already rising from the tub and raping my body in a towel and walking towards the sink as my eyes meet in the mirror with tears already falling from my eyes i could see that i had already decided. sitting on the cold tiled floor i opened the cabinet and rummaged throw in desperate need to find that little box i had not used in so long, finally i found it hesitating to open it but none the less i opened it and held the small silver razor in my hand.

Rising the sliver blade to my wrist i slowly cut from one side to the other feeling the blood start to run down my hand with that small feeling of relief i cut again and again and again until all i could see was the red covering the sink i dropped the razor and turned the tap on cleaning up the blood from my arm and sink once it was clean and the the blood had slowed down nearly stopping i walked back into my room throwing a pair of tracksuit pant and a jumper on i walked up stairs wanting ice cream once to find that there was none in the freezer groaning i walked to the front door grabbing my keys on the way .

Once i opened the door a was shocked to see jace standing in front of the door with his fist raised ready to knock on the door. " hey perfect timing " jace said with a chuckle " yeah whats up " i asked " i came to by just to check that you where okay and ask what happened after we left " jace said i once again felt my chest constrict in pain " ummm.. we had another fight probably would be talking for a while '' i replied not really wanting to go into detail for what really happened " oh well me and the guys are always here for you no matter what happens " i smiled a little at jace " i know thank you " he smiled " of course always anyway the guys and me are going to go to the beach did you want to come with " i instantly glanced at my arm before i looked back at jace " thanks but i just really want to be alone today " jace nodded understanding that i wanted to be alone today . " okay well if you needs us just text one of us and we will be right over " i nodded and closed the door behind me as i walked to my car ." i will bye " i said as i got inside me car turning it on ready to drive away " bye" jace said as i started to drive away towards the supermarket .

Once i at the supermarket i head strait for the frozen section and grabbed two tubs of ice cream one of chocolate brownie and the other mint choc chip and headed to pay eager to leave as soon as possible praying that i dont run into anyone else i know and defiantly not zach i really dont want to talk to anyone.

Once i paid i was walking out when i run into some one and feel backwards landing on the floor i looked up and of course i see the one person i never wanted to see its to soon just seeing him it hurt to much as quickly as i could i grabbed the bad with the ice cream and ran to my car trying to get away i cant look him in the eye the pain is to much " CASI " i heard zach yell across the parking lot as i was getting in my car ready to drive away, i didn't reply or wait for him to reach my car before i drove off not looking back .

Once i got back home i run to my room and put on a movie on Netflix grabbing my blanket rapping it around myself and started to eat trying to ignore the world and the pain for just a little while. it didn't last to long before i heard very loud knocking on the door i didn't have to open the door to know who it was i placed one hand on the door and the other clutching my chest " go away zach" i said quietly but i knew he heard me " NO LET ME IN WE NEED TO TALK'' he screamed throw the door a tear fell from my eye " no zach " i said " CASI OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW " zach screamed at me once again way is he so mad , he really does hate me know oh god what have i done i should have just given in to that little fight and said sorry to Jane but i had to open my big mouth didn't i . hysterical crying now i just need zach to leave i wasn't ready i couldn't handle this i finally snapped " GO AWAY " i screamed back at him throw the door zach stopped banging on the door when he heard me i slide down the door holding my knees to my chest crying and saying 'go away ' over and over again quietly " im sorry , i cant " i heard zach say as i heard his footsteps walking away .

That was it zach doesn't love me he never will , we are over , we will never be the same i just lost my best friend and the guy i love all at once this is why i wish i could go back and never fall for him but its to late i cant go back .

We are done.

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