little bitch

me whining about shit im not involved in

(none of these names are real, just random name assign to real people)

me complaining about drama 

i had two other friends. Sofia and Katie. we were friends in elementary along with my best friend Taylor. but middle school happen and Taylor went to a different school, but i still had them.  i had other friends, but i wanted to keep being friends with them.

Sofia was mean. i remember in elementary school when she asked who i liked i name this girl, and she bullied me.  it only stop when i said i was joking, and said i like this other boy. i remember pretending i liked him, and i even wrote this letter to him for valentine day. most embarrassing thing ever.

Soifa and Katie were best friends. during middle school there was drama like every month with them. they made a new friend. Myra. i only talked to her little, it was only the last day of 7 grade where we properly talked. i instantly got a crush on her.

in 7 grade Katie got mad at me and ignored me, i was petty so i started to ignore her too.

8 grade happen and a miracle happened. Me and Myra had the same schedule with a lot of the same classes. we got closer and i fell harder. somehow she was the only connection i had with Sofia and Katie.

highschool happened, i was in a lot of smart classes, and Myra wasnt so we only saw little of each other. i made a lot of clingy poetry and stories about her. I found out Myra and Katie were dating, and i was super jealous.

then something happened.

i made a close friend in middle school, Diana. she was close to Sofia and Katie. and Diana told me all the drama.

something happened during homecoming. i still dont know what happen. but i heard Myra pushed Katie infront of a car.

i also heard how Sofias boyfriend raped Katie. and how Sofia didnt believe it and turned on her. i tried helping them talk but it only made it worse.

so i talked to Katie. it was hard and awkward at first but we became close friends. i love her a lot and i believe her

i still talked to Myra, but slowly i stop having a crush on her.

sophomore year happened. 

me and myra got really close again, but in second semester she stopped talking to me. she sent me these weird videos and i joked about it to her and she stopped sending them to me. 

now she hasnt talked to me since.

i tried to reach out to her, i tried to talk to her. but nothing.

i feel guilty. i hate that i still want to be friends with Myra. i hate that this stuff happened.

but i heard she got new friends, and im happy for her. i want the best for her, even after everything.