No Love Again

Prologue

She walked away with a heavy heart. She knew it needed to be done.

They would still hurt each other more if they're going to continue like this. It's clear as daylight that he has fallen out of love, but he's afraid to hurt her. She wanted him to be happy, and she knew she couldn't cage him in a relationship without its once strong foundation—love.

So today she plucked up the courage to do so. She severed ties with him and let him go.

I tiredly scrolled through the screen, deliberately trying my best to be more awake while proofreading. Four more paragraphs to go.

After emptying another cup of coffee, I'm proud to say that I was able to finish my work. Ngayon ay sine-save ko na lang siya at gumagawa rin ng backup copy, just in case a glitch might happen.

I reached for my phone situated beside the laptop and checked for messages. As expected, there are some from him, the last one was sent an hour ago.

×× ×× ×× ×× ××

Chrys
Just had dinner with my workmates. Did you eat already? Don't skip your meal, love.

Chrys
You're not replying so I guess you're still swarmed with work. Please avoid drinking too much coffee and sleep when you're tired. Don't stress yourself too much, OK?

Chrys
It's already 2 a.m. and I know you might be asleep. But just in case you're still awake, can you send me a reply? Nag-aalala na ako.

×× ×× ×× ×× ××

I quickly typed in a reply.

Just finished, love. Sorry kung hindi ako nakapagreply, you know naman that I badly needed to finish this one. Why are you still up though?

My phone beeped after a few seconds. He's still awake.

Chrys
Nauhaw ako so I got a glass of water. Have you eaten? You did not skip meals, did you?

I turned off the laptop and texted back.

I had some snacks here and there.

Chrys
Want me to bring you food? I could check if that fave pizza house of yours is still open.

I sighed. Alam niyang sarado na 'yon ngayon. At busog pa naman ako.

Nah. I'll just clean up and sleep afterwards. Ikaw po matulog na rin. Maaga ka pa bukas.

Chrys
Can I call you?

Magta-type palang ako ng reply pero nakita ko na ang caller ID niya sa screen ko. Sinagot ko agad ang tawag.

"Hi, not yet sleepy?"

Husky voice niya ang bumati sa'kin, obviously pinipigilan ang antok. "I am, but you're the priority here. Hihintayin kitang makatulog para makasigurado akong nakapagpahinga ka."

Kumuha ako ng pajamas sa cabinet at pinuno ng tubig ang tub. "Chrys, I know you're tired too. Hindi mo na kailangang hintayin akong makatulog."

"Just let me do this, please? I miss you already. It's been two weeks since we last saw each other."

"Alright. I'm going to hang up, handa na ang pampaligo ko."

"No, I'll wait here. Just put me on speaker."

"Okay."

Sinunod ko siya at tinabi ang phone sa counter para hindi mabasa. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed the tub. I felt relaxed after feeling the warm water and bubbles covering me.

"How's your day?" I can hear the rustle of sheets on the other end so he must be tucking himself to bed.

"It went fine. My team was able to meet the clients' expectations and so far, they are willing to invest in the project. By the way, my mom is asking when do you want to check out gowns. She said she knows some designers that she can recommend."

I stiffened upon hearing his last statement. The wedding. I'm so lost in my thoughts these days that it completely slipped my mind.

"Bibisitahin ko si tita one of these days para magtingin ng gowns." Then I teased him to hide my discomfort. Baka mahalata niya kasi. "Want to join us?"

"Not if you want to wear something weird at our wedding. You know how much I love you, but I can't really help you with that. Let me remind you that mom hired me a stylist just so I can look decent most of the time—in public at least."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Kahit kailan talaga, Chrysler. "Sige, kami na lang ni tita ang magkikita."

Pabor din naman sa'kin kasi hindi pa ako handang harapin siya.

After throwing small banters, natapos na ako sa pagligo at nakapagsuot na ng pajamas. I'm now lying face down on my bed while my phone is on the bedside table. May sinasabi pa si Chrys pero halos hindi ko na marinig sa lalim ng iniisip ko.

A few weeks away from him made me realize things. Mga bagay na matagal ko nang napapansin pero palagi kong binabalewala.

There's always something lacking in our relationship that I couldn't put my finger on. Sure, we fought but we made up after a few hours. He usually doesn't let a night pass without making up. I feel like our relationship is always smooth sailing since we haven't experienced any major problems, it's always the same for the past four years.

I thought I could bear it since he's everything I can ask for. He's the perfect gentleman, a warm-hearted and understanding person who's always there for me.

His family absolutely adores me, they welcomed me wholeheartedly. I know I love him; however, I'm always looking for something I can't put a finger on whenever I think of our relationship. And in my opinion, I'm being unfair to him just by having these thoughts.

I was pulled away from my daydream when I heard his voice calling me.

"Love? Kali?" He sighed on the other line. "Mabuti naman at nakatulog ka na. I'll hang up now. Sweet dreams... I love you."

I heard a beeping sound indicating that the call was disconnected. Binaon ko ang mukha ko sa unan.

"I'm so sorry, Chrys."

It's easy to write breakups in stories, but to initiate one? You're only given one chance to make it hurt less.