Good morning, Kiko ;)
The sun is shining bright for me today. I held a conversation with my brother Dylan today. I saw him smile and laugh with me. He's having a rough time right now. I dont know what he's thinking or what he's going through, and I wish he would talk to me but I get it. Im the younger sister. I wouldn't want to talk to me either. But I still wish he knew how much I care. I always think about sending a text or just telling him "I love you" or "I'm here for you" but let's face reality. He'll probably just think to himself "corny bitch." He means a lot to me, though. I've always looked up to him. Of course, I'd never tell him that. I admire him. His patience, his relationship with my mom, his friends, his ability to handle tough situations, and to take control of his anger so easily. I have a extremely difficult time doing or having any of those things. I try my best but he'll always be better. He underestimates himself too much. I wish he didn't. I hope we have a good relationship in the future. Or atleast keep in touch. I worry about losing all my siblings. Amber, Chloe, and Dylan. Chloe and I are pretty close. We work together. Amber I call once in a while, but she never really picks up. Dylan I rarely get the opportunity to talk to. I want to fix that but I don't know how. Does he even want a relationship with me? Sometimes I wonder if he even cares for me. I know it's probably all in my head. I just don't want to lose them. We grew up together. All four of us. We always experienced the same things growing up. But now we're older and things change. I hate to see them change this way, but I guess that's just life. We become more independent. Less reliable on family. I miss them so much. I wish we were all young again, when we all lived in the same house. With happy parents who loved each other. Where we all got kicked outside of the house together by mom and dad because we "needed sunlight and vitamin D." Or when we were all forced to be quiet and read for an hour every day of the summer. Im pretty sure those were mom's ways of getting some quiet time. I guess I just need time to adjust to the changes we make when we get older. But how do I take time adjust when they keep changing?
Okay, I'm hungry so I'll write you later, Kiko
Yours truly,
Lexi
