My Thoughts Are Deadly

Kissing Razors

A

: song credits go to Palaye Royale (Mr.Doctor man)

- I never wanted this.
Just do it! You're worthless! Surprised you haven't killed yourself yet!
-Shut up! You know I will soon!
You sure take a long fucking time! What are you? Scared?

     I take the razor from my drawer. I've always loved to draw. This blade belonged to my favorite pencil sharpener. I still draw it's just more rough now. My favorite color to use is crimson. The color from the blood im my veins. The blood that is doing its pointless job of keeping me alive. I draw the blade across my upper thigh.
     I continue to slice my skin, watching it tear open and seeing the blood spill put into the bath water. It swirls like ink in the full tub. I lay and soak in the blood as if they were my sorrows and pain. Besides voices I have these feelings. Feeling that tell me to listen to the voices. Not like I wouldn't listen to them. They would never leave me alone if I ignored them....
       I feel nothing anymore. Why? I wouldn't know... Its just that I feel numb. There's a hole in my chest. My life is the live action depiction of Murphys law. Everything that can go wrong does. Cutting? Thats a terrible, ever failing attempt to feel something. Something other than the inner pain. That's why I do it.