Deppresion And How I Get Through It

when it started

I had just turned fourteen and we were just seeing are aunt again and we went to my cousin b'day party she was turning 18 and when i entered my eye cought this really cute boy. other than that there was a karaoke machine and i tried to do it but i couldn't. i some how got to the liquor and woke up next to the guy that cought my eye i was hungover i got up a eat then brushed my teeth and went to get my cloths out the dryer and the guy was behind the curtent and scared my half to death later on i found his name was brice i loke him.

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So we went back home and went back a few days later and sw him again and i got to see my baby cousin he is the most presious baby ever and then we moved in with mu aunt and me and rhis boy got to talking on the internet his name is caillou ill tell u about him later we dated and things dident work out he was a dick. But then shit went down we had just got in school and then dss got in it i thinks thats when i my deppresion started to come out more often. I hated that we had to move back to are old house there were a lot of demons there anf i sleeped in the heart of it i really thought it was the devils heart. But my mom and my aunt got into a fight and that got me more depressed oh and my house burned down the devils heart burned yess but no we lost all most everything.

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Now i have been going to many doctors some think im suicidal some are right so thats why i am on medican and i hate it cause it makes me happy is it bad that like being deppresed some times i like to have that felling like im alone i dont like being active but sometimes i like to be happy. Am i weird? Sometimes i question. My self. I hate myself for felling this way and i dont know why maby its because of my dad or maby just my family.

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The dude i was talking about caulliou yea turns oit he is just a jackass that pulled me down i fell in love with him and i had to break his heart three months later we got back togather for a month and i hate that i did it i was not listen to my heart he broke me i have not been the same.

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Right now i fell betrayed and hurt