Landing In London {Dreams & Bleachers Sequel}

I Don't Want You, But I Need You

Ryder's POV

It wouldn't matter how many roses I send, how many texts I write, how many nights he knows I'm restless, Nicky won't accept my apologies until he's ready. I can't believe how much I fucked up. I've got a family I'm doing this to, but shit, maybe I'm just talking this way 'cause I'm coming down from the high.

I walked into JC's kitchen, grabbing some pain pills from the cabinet. As I swallowed them down, I felt a set of arms wrap around my waist.

"You really need to stop stealing my pills." His deep voice murmured in my ear.

His voice was really sexy, and his warm breath felt good the way it tickled the back of my neck. JC's hands were right at the top of my jeans, and his body was pressed right against mine.

I moaned a bit at his touch, then remembered last time and quickly pushed his hands off me. "You really need to stop tryin' to bang me. You're doing the favor of putting me up as a friend, not a fuck buddy, remember?"

He put his arms back around me, this time going a little under my jeans, and burning his lips in the crook of my neck as he muttered, "We could change that, ya' know?"

I moaned again, putting my hands over his. JC started kissing my neck softly as he hummed and pushed his hands further down my pants.

"I-I can't." I mumbled. "Nicky-"

"Nicky won't know." He interrupted. "Just let me do all the work. Sit back and relax."

JC moved his hands from my hips, up over my chest and pulled up my shirt. I helped him get it off, then he began kissing my neck again as he rubbed my shoulders.

I leaned over the counter more, seeing my phone sitting there. It started ringing, and I almost died when I saw Nicky calling me. Shit, why am I doing this?

"JC stop, I have to take this." I spoke as I grabbed my phone.

"You can call him back later." He replied, trying to get me to set my phone back down.

I jerked my hand away from his, telling him, "No, now." I sighed, accepting the call. "Hello?"

A huff came through the phone as Nicky spoke to me, obviously unhappy. "Hey, look, I don't want you to think this is the happy moment where I accept your apology and we get back together, because it's not. I'm still not forgiving you for what you did, but the kids need their father. They've been asking why you aren't home, and with me taking care of them, I have no time to work to pay the bills. On top of it, I'm getting sick and I just can't handle this all anymore. I need you home, but that doesn't mean I forgave you, okay?"

"Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes. I love you." I responded, glad to be going home even if he's forced to take me back.

"Goodbye." He muttered, then hung up.

It broke my heart to hear him not say I love you. We'd rather die than not tell each other! And him being sick, I hope he's just got the flue and his HIV isn't acting up again. Either way, he won't let me take care of him like I want to.

"I'm going to go grab my things. I get to go home." I told JC, smiling.

He, however, couldn't have been more displeased. "Why are you going back to him? He kicked you out!"

"Yeah, because I cheated on him. I'm the only one to blame. He needs me, and honestly, I really need him. I'm sorry if this has fucked up our business relationship, but, uh, what else can I say? We're all kind of to blame."

He sighed. "No, no. We work well together. We can... Put this behind us."

"Thank you!" I called back to him as I went to the spare bedroom to get my belongings.

Later

Nervous doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now, but I'm happy. I parked my bike in the garage, closing the garage door, and walked in the house. It was about nine, so the kids would be in bed.

As I walked in, Hope ran up to be and began sniffing me. She jumped up on my leg, so I picked her up and got a tongue in my face. At least she's happy I'm home.

I went to the kitchen, seeing all the flowers I've sent we're sitting around. Suppose it's good he didn't throw them away. Where is Nicky anyway? I set my bag down next to the counter, then took off my jacket and looked to Hope.

"Where's daddy?" I asked her, and she bolted off upstairs.

Leave it to her to always know. I ran up after her, following her to Nicky's studio.

"Hi Baby." He coed as Hope jumped up in his lap. Then he lost his smile when he turned his chair and realized I was there. "The kids are already in bed, so keep it down. The guest bedroom is all ready for you."

The guest bedroom? Really? Guess he wasn't kidding when he said this wasn't an apology.

"Thanks." I muttered as I turned around and got away from the love of my life that obvious hates me.

Who ever wants to say that? The love of my life, the reason I breathe, hates me.