"Heartbroken and Lonely"

"Underneath Acceptance"

Always behind,

In the back of the mind,

Why can't I find,

One to be mine?

I'm caught in a stare,

Beastly rising glare,

But they don't really care,

What I have to share.

Always the friend,

When will this end?

Why must I bend,

Backward to the end?

Why can't I be loved,

Without having to shove?

Why can't I be touched,

Without a protective glove?

I'm always behind the scenes,

Never the star,

Never the affection,

Is this my destiny?

To be the friend,

To every one I want?

To never have the connection,

I so desperately want?

I need someone,

But nobody's there.

Why can't I have what I need?

Why can't someone care?

They love me like a brother,

Never like a lover,

Eyes set upon another,

While my heart is being smothered.

Take it from my chest,

And see how black and dead.

Give my soul a rest,

Get these thoughts out of my head.

Get this pain out of my soul,

Get this longing out of my being.

Get this hatred I am seeing,

And please stop them all from fleeing.

I can't find reciprocation,

In the heart of another.

I can't sleep with this pain,

Pouring down like rain,

A giant killing stain,

Ingrained.

Insane.

I'm plain,

See through,

Like a window pane.

Down to the depths,

I can't find acceptance.

Always looking in,

At the happiness of friends.

Why can they find it,

So effortlessly?

When I am stuck behind it,

It's really killing me...