Star Wars: The Phantom Menance:
Movie Review: The story of a whole lot
of coincidences, Keira Knightly in
make up, & a less whiny Anakin.
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones:
Movie Review: The story of how
Natalie Portman marries a mentally &
emotionally unstable Momma's boy.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith:
Movie Review: The story of how
Obiwan was a bad judge of character,
and the Jedi die like pussies.
Star Wars: Solo: Movie Review: The
story of how Han did not look like Han,
and the Millenium Falcon took a major
nose dive after the first week.
Star Wars: Rogue One: Movie Review:
The story of how a rebellion is built on
hope, as well as murder, torture, political
assassinations...
Star Wars: Movie Review: The story of
how Luke is a whiny b*tch, who
complains all the time, & likes to make
out with his sister. #R2D2
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back:
Movie Review: The story of how Luke is
still whiny, meets his abusive father, &
Han gets hard for Leia.
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi:
Movie Review: The story of how Luke
became less whiny, Leia wears a gold
bikini, & C3PO is a golden god.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens:
Movie Review: The story of how Luke
is hardly in this one, but his whiny
nephew with daddy issues is.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Movie Review:
The story of how Luke was not the last of the
the Jedi, Rey and Kylo held hands, and whiny nerds
bullied a cute Asian girl on the Internet, because they
could not handle how awesome her character was.
