Just Another Book About Harry Potter Ships

Harmione (Harry/Hermione)

SHIP NAMES: Harmione, Harmony, Harry/Hermione, H/H, H/Hr, HP/HG, H.M.S. Harmony, H.M.S. Pumpkin Pie

THOUGHTS: I reallyyyy don't like this ship. I can see where if you only watched the movies, you might ship Harry and Hermione together, but the books show otherwise. The directors of the movies added a lot of Harmione moments to the movies (see: their dance in the tent while Ron was gone) that weren't in the books, while simultaneously giving most of Ron's clever lines to Hermione and generally making Ron seem totally useless and Hermione seem perfect. They really did Ron a disservice. It makes me so mad that I can't watch the movies without wanting to get up and walk away!

Harry and Hermione are good friends, but there is no spark of romantic love between them. (Yes, contrary to popular belief, it is possible for opposite-sex attracted males and females to be just friends!) Harry was never interested in her like that, and Hermione was never interested in him like that, either. Harry himself says that he's always thought of Hermione as like a sister, and he mentions more than once that he just wants Ron and Hermione to make up and get together already. He was the original Romione shipper, honestly.

But even with these things aside, Harry and Hermione still wouldn't work. Besides the fact that they're more like siblings than anything else, they're completely romantically incompatible. When Harry and Ron go weeks without talking in book four, Harry says that Hermione's company doesn't live up to Ron's and that they often sit in silence with nothing to talk about. Harry and Hermione have a good friendship, but they would grow tired of each other without Ron there as a necessary balance. Do you remember when they were alone in the tent after Ron left in book seven, and instead of the dancing scene from the movies, Harry literally just threw a blanket over Hermione and left her to cry about Ron by herself while he went to look for Ginny on the Marauder's Map? Yeah, he would be such a great boyfriend (sarcasm).

Harry also can't stand it when Hermione nags him, describing her voice as "shrill" (which is associated elsewhere with his Aunt Petunia), and her argumentative nature drives him up the wall. Meanwhile, Hermione often doesn't listen to (or completely ignores) what Harry wants, and she can't handle it when he blows up. He makes her cry on multiple occasions by yelling at her, something that doesn't happen when she bickers with Ron. In general, when Harry gets angry, Hermione gets quiet and meek, and Harry needs somebody who will stand up to his outbursts, not shut down and acquiesce. Hermione also can't stop herself from mothering him, and she sometimes gets emotional and cries, two more things that Harry can't stand. (The "I'm Harry Potter and can't handle it when other people cry" thing is one of the reasons that Harry says he works better with Ginny than Cho, which...damn, Harry, you have issues). Basically, between Hermione's argumentative, mothering, sensitive nature, and Harry's anger issues, trauma, and stuntedness when it comes to dealing emotions other than rage, they would not be the great couple that Harmione shippers think they would be.

Honestly, Harry and Hermione would soon grow stagnant. The distant, polite, stale marriage that they would have several years into the future where Hermione is a nagging know-it-all wife and Harry blows up on her when he wants to get his way is super depressing. Not to mention that Hermione would loathe being referred to as "Harry Potter's wife" rather than as herself through the merit of her own accomplishments. All in all, no matter what Harmione shippers say, Harry and Hermione would not live happily ever after in "Harmony."

So no, I definitely don't ship Harmione. Harry and Hermione love each other like the siblings they never had, they were never interested in each other romantically, and they wouldn't work as a couple. I also LOATHE the Ron bashing that too often comes along with the ship. As I've said several times already across this book, if you have to resort to character assassination to get your characters together, that's a sign that something is seriously wrong here! If your fave characters are so perfect for each other, why do you feel the need to bash other characters or rival ships to "prove" that your ship is better?