Myself

Kaitlyn ( Prologue)

Jhene Aiko- The Worst

Tell me whatcha say now? Tell me whatcha say

Come again? If you cannot stay down

Then you do not have to pretend

Like there is no way out

I shoulda never let you in

'Cause you got me face down

And don't take this personal

But you're the worst

You know what you've done to me

And although it hurts I know

I just can't keep runnin' away

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you

But I want you

I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to

But I love you

Tell me whatcha say now

Tell me whatcha say?

You said that you would come again

You said that we would remain friends but

You know that I do not depend on

Nothing or no one

So why would you show up

So uninvited then

Just change my mind like that

Please don't take this personal

But you ain't shit

And you weren't special

Til I made you so

You better act like you know

That I been through worse than you

I just can't keep runnin' away 

 Sometime we have to question the person we attract. It feels like the more you let your guard down there always someone that prove you wrong. Am I ever going to find my prince charming. Shit, I don't think that fucking exist. How did I allowed myself to reach my lowest point. I feel so numb to everything, why I let you in my life but inside my heart. I can't fucking help that I still love you.... It funny how everything change once you got it. I thought you was going to ride for me, you said that you wasn't going to hurt me. And I believe you and I trust you so blindly. I never question your motives when I should have because look at me now!!!! I am a fucking mess because of you!! You said you was always going to love me and no one is going to be between us. Can I go back when we first meet, when it seem that you care for me. I gave you my love and that shit was real and I didn't get shit from you! I just don't understand what I did wrong, I thought everything was fine but I guess I wrong. I knew something was wrong when you didn't even look at me the same, you was barely touching me and every time when I ask you wassup with you, you would look at me and say don't worry about it. And I fucking listen to you while you was out here fucking your ex bitch! Really after everything I did for you and this how you fucking repay me. I wanted to be your wife, shit I wanted to have all your fucking babies. Now I am just a fucking broken hearted girl. But after everything you put me through I still want to be with you. I just feel so lost and confused to be honest I don't think I would be able to move on. I never wanted to be a broken hearted girl, I thought it was going to be us against the world but I guess you had different plans for me. Now you having looking in the mirror to see what I am missing that you don't want to be with me anymore. Why would me make me feel that our love was so deep and nobody will be able to come between us? You made feel so alive and special. I remember when you used to walk past me I would get chill down my spine. Something about you would just always had my panty so wet and especially when you would look at me with so much passion in your eyes. You used to always love to come inside my bubble because you knew the control you had with me. I don't know why but everytime you would step in my face I would get so horny and so wet. You used tell me " I am stepping in your bubble right" and I would look up to you and I never knew what to say to you cause you always right. You made feel so comfortable for me to to be myself and we would always had the deepest conversation. Even with our busy schedule with work and school we always facetime or call or text each other. Sometime I don't even remember how I feel in love with you, you just had me under your spell. One thing I love about you, is that I was so comfortable around you, you allow me to be myself so I thought. But during the time you meet me I was still trying to find myself out and I didn't love myself. I couldn't expect you to be my happiness when I honestly don't know what makes me happy. Now I am in my dark room sitting in my cold floor drinking hennessy to make me feel numb to this pain. I can't believe I am at my lowest point and my depression is starting to kick in.