Unhealthy Love.

That Feeling.

Its a feeling of wholeness.

Like there's nothing else in the world that can make me feel like this.

Nothing even comparing to the way he makes me feel.

The way he holds me like there nothing in the world that will ever come close to harming me again.

The way he tells me he will look after me, that everything will be fine.

The way he shows me he loves me back.

''I'm really really sorry. This is the last time, I'm sorry Hails, i didn't mean to,its just that I'm stressed.........''

This is the most common thing i hear from him.

I'm sitting here, Damp face, Running mascara and Bruises all over my body.

If you haven't guessed it already , yeah he hits me.

I know its my fault, I push his buttons.

I don't mean to but i do.

This man standing in-front of me would never do this to me just for the sake of doing it.

''You have to leave him Haylee''

''its not your fault Haylee''

My friends tell me, But IT IS!, it is my fault, i push him to his limits, and his limits are hitting me.

"He doesn't mean it.'' is my pathetic excuse of an answer.

He doesn't mean it.

"Hails...'' he grabs my face and cups my chin with his palm. I look up and catch his intense Grey eyed gaze, hes been crying too. I can see the sympathy in his eyes, i can see the regret, I can see the love.

"Its been a hard night, I'm really really sorry for this'' he says as he looks down sympathetically and caresses the blue and purple ''Love Mark'' he made on my cheek.  

He gets up and walks towards the bathroom. I sit there stunned. His sorry's are always so long, so meaningful, with so much emotion.

While hes in the shower, i hear him singing, hes always had such an harmonic voice. but still hes singing like nothing happened. Like he didn't just hit me, not once either. This time it seemed like it wasn't going to end, this was different to all the other times.

Surprisingly, even tho this time ti was different , i still love this man. I still would lay my life out on the line for him, i would do anything for this man, what can i say, I love him!

After what seems like bucket loads of tears, Hes still not out of the shower. I slowly make my way into bed, as i cant stay awake any longer.

I crawl under the blankets slowly as quiet sobs escape out. I wipe my face clean for the last time and as i slowly fall asleep the last thing i hear as i got to sleep are the lyrics of what my husbands singing ''Baby you and i, were just ordinary people, we don't know which to go.......''

 I get woken up by the feeling of someone caressing my Breast. I instantly sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes and realise it was Graham, My Husband.

He lunges at me with a kiss, I give him a subtle push and say ''What are you doing?'' my voice full with sleep.

''Please baby girl, make me happy, make my pain go away.'' Is his reply.

I cant say no. So i just nod and give the most passionate kiss i have ever given, i give him my everything. I cant say no to him. I love him.

After were done making love, he just rolls over and goes straight off to sleep. Like what we just did meant nothing to him. He has been doing this lately, When we do make love, he just rolls over as if i was just a one night stand, as if we haven't been married for ten years, Like we weren't high school sweethearts.