Metanoia

Chapter Five

        "Explain to me one more time orieas before i rip your eyes out and chew them between my little teeth." i say menacingly. "klaryence. She left. She let the coyote take control she said she needs time and to figure out who she wants to be. who she is?" i let out a very unmasculine bark. I glare at orieas laughing at my yip. "im a fennec fox not a damn werewolf but that does not mean i will not hesitate to hurt you." i say turning away from the river bank. I feel my chest tightening at the memory of the first time i showed eemagine this place. 

Flashback

        "klafairy where are we going?" i look to my bestfriend and can't help but get excited. She is going to love this. To think i found this when im only eight. " were here so stop whining" i say and free her from the blindfold i forced her to wear. "woah a river. great" eemagine says sarcastically. "It's called river of coyote tears. A lot of brave coyotes in this area were slaughtered in the past. People wanted to wear them because they were so....beautiful." i breath out the last part as i look at eemagine. I love her. She is my bestfriend but, this is more love. This is what my mom called mate love. Mates are shifters soulmates and i want eemagine to be mine. "KLARY!" i look up just as i hear a loud growl. I look up and im face to face with a male coyote, a real one. "eems whatever happens. I want you to run. Do not shift just run to my house. GOT IT!" i yell as i begin undressing. "whaa what are you doing you're human what can you do. I'll shift and scare him away like that street dog." she says hands shaking. "eems im not human im a shifter like you, im just a rarer shifter than you are." i pull off my pants and am standing in my underwear. "eems go he probably can smell that you're a female coyote and me being male he sees me as a threat. Look see he isnt even looking at you. Please eems go. " I say crouching low so i can begin shifting.

        "i i can't im scared." she says. I shift into my fox just as the coyote rushes to me. I hear eems scream when i latch my self onto his neck refusing to let go. The coyote thrashes and begins slapping me to the ground or on a nearby tree. Trying desperatly to get me to dislatch from his now bleeding throat. He bites my sides and legs pulling and trying to force me to move. "KLARY!!!" i hear eemagine scream as the coyote falls to the ground. I killed him. Im eight years old and i killed someone. I begin throwing up as i can still taste his blood. I feel someone begin petting me as i throw my head in the river desperatly trying to rid my mouth of his taste. "it's ok klary its ok" eemagine says rubbing circles into my blonde fur. I begin yipping and whimpering. Eemagine picks me up carefully and says "don't cry klary. I still love you and im going to help you. I promise." she says kissing my head beween my ears. I shift back and get dressed. im halfway putting on my shirt when i start crying again. "i..i.. i can st-till taaa-aste him" i cry breaking down again. Eemagine wraps her arms around me and comforts me over and over again by saying "its going to be okay". "eems please don't leave me. Don't ever leave me" i say clutching to her tighter. " i promise i won't. Were always going to be together. " she says leaning in giving me my first kiss. "promise" i say shocked. "promise" 

End Of Flashback

        "klaryence?" i turn around to look at orieas. "what?" i say aggrivated. " you were whispering you promised you promised i can still taste his blood. are you ok?" he says placing a hand on my sholder. "No i once killed a wild coyote to save eemagine when we were eight. She promised she would never leave me and she broke it. Tell me something orieas...you being her mate why are you so calm you should be broken up about this." i turn facing him. " i trust shes going to come back. She promised. " he says matter of factly. "she doesn't keep her promises." i tell him before walking away.

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Next day-Past Sundown

        "SHE WASN"T THERE JOSH!" i scream as i run inside the pack house. 'what are you yelling about O ?" my beta josh says coming into the hallway that enters the living room. "josh she wasn't there." i repeat "o" he says. "what?" i glare at him. "not you i meant oh like ooooh." josh cooly replies. "Besides she's in the living room." he says smiling. I push him aside and run to the living room. Immediatly im hit with the smell of clean dirt and I sniff again lemons? " i used you're body wash." she says tiredly.  I envelope her in a hug and inhale her scent further." i regretted letting you leave yesterday. you can't go back i can't lose you like that. " i say petting her hair refusing to let go. " i promised i'd come to say hello. I've said hello." she says pushing off from. "what que haces?" i say trying find out why she continues hurting me like this. "what?" she responds. " what are you doing? why do you keep forcing me to watch you run from me like this?" i begin incoherently speaking in spanish trying to get a grip on the thoughts racing my mind. "porque nessesitave amar una mujer tan tan Hermosa. Porque me quievra el corazon asi?" (translation: why did i have to love a women so so beautiful. Why does she break my heart like this?). " i have no idea what you just said but, it was adorable" she says laughing. "eemagine you're leaving again aren't you" i say with conviction. "yes"

        "why please i don't care what you want to be i need my brown eyes" i say. " No me Puedes hacer esto!!!" ( you can't do this to me!!!!!) "si lo puedo." she said surprising me. "i took spanish in high school and also i need to do this for me you seemed to understand yesterday." she replies. " Im an alpha. Never have i been so weak. My mate MY DAMN MATE. I Can even help her." i say noticing im about to start having a panic attack. "FUCK!!! i scream i refuse to be weak and i refuse to let you go. You are staying here even if it's by force" i say. " you can't force me. I will resent you for it oreo. I'll stay here with you but its going to be cause i want to . If you ever try to Alpha me again you can kiss my ass goodbye.I'm going to go to klaryence's house"  I turn to watch her leave again.

        "you've got it so bad. You're right you have never been so emotional. O you are usually a hard ass hot head,  douchbag, insensitive, and no offense a man whore. Im glad you found her. You are much better now." josh states walking back into the living room. " I am not a sap. That puppy dog shit is over. I refuse to leave her again and i for DAMN SURE am not letting her leave me again." i yell. Im livid. No more sappy tree he mate walked away from us. Twice. Im going to do stop trying to be this image she has for me. Im going to be me and me I dont want lose her again. "don't be a douche about it. Don't be that guy again. Looks to me she isnt the only one in need of finding herself" and with that final word josh leaves. Maybe i do. 

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        Knock knock. I open the door an sniff aound to find klaryence. He's in the harry potter room. i shift and crawl under the stairs and sit in front of him. Klaryence? What? OMG eems where have you been? The little fox runs and jumps and nips at my heal. What the hell that hurt?! Good you left me. you promised. Im sorry but i came back i couldn't live in the wild just one night terrified me and then there were these bunnies and i wanted to eat them....Okay i get it roughing it is not your style. Orieas changed. He is so angry right now. Its only been a day but, he's not the same klary. I went to his house and he just kept yelling and he tried forcing me to stay there. He was probably scared of losing you too eems. Im so confused.  Look eems when you aren't looking he can be a douche. i asked around campus and aparently before you he got around. He's not the sap we thought he was. I..i.. Why fake it. Maybe he isnt maybe he is faking it to them. He is alpha right? He can't be some love struck puppy dog he has to be able to instill a little fear. I get it. 

        we shift back and change then head to the kitchen. "Cheerios?" he asks I shake my head no. "im im going to go back to being eemagine. It would be easier." i blurt out. "whatever you say and based off of what you said physically its easy but like you said mentally and emotionally its almost impossible. hey but either way you choose you still got me no matter what" he says pouring himself a bowl of cheerios. "why couldn't it have been you?" i say lower than a whisper. "don't. eems don't" he says pleadingly. "it would have been easier. we already are loyal to each other more so than i am to my mate." i say feeling a pang in my chest. " we already love each other. i wanted it to be you. I hoped it was going to be you." i say begining to cry. I feel klaryence wrap his arms around me. "me too but, the goddess herself chose orieas for you. I haven't found my mate yet but, i know she will be the one and only for me." i hear the unsurness in his voice. Then i feel his tears fall onto my shoulder. "kiss me" i say. He does but i quickly push him away there was nothing but pain in my chest. I betrayed orieas. The pain goes away but the panic does not. "orieas is coming. He's hurt and angry." 

        "of course he is. His one and only just asked another guy to kiss her. Why did you do that us eems. You know how i feel and you FUCKING HAVE A MATE. How could you. Why would you ask me that." klaryence freaks out in the kitchen more. Then the front door bust open making klaryence yelp in surprise. "why" is the only word orieas can say. His eyes are completly black not that soft brown i love or the bright red that makes my body burn for him. " i don't know." i say truthfully. "I Orieas Callum Lopez Reject you Eemagine "theo" Carter" he says. I drop to the floor and try to work through the pain. I can't i scream and scream before it finally sucides. "i reject you're rejection" i say before passing out.