Broken Lovers- A Nemi Story

Chapter 6

NICK

I knew it was hard for Demi, well hard for both of us, but I knew I had to get it out of her she was struggling. "Fine, I'll go first aslong as you promise me you'll talk after? Okay?" She whispers "promise" as our pinkys locked.

"This is going to be hard, you know that so let's take it in steps" I smiled. We both snuggled under the blankets and cuddled occasionally sipping on our tea. I started to speak "well, the truth is Demi. I'm just tired. Tired of being nick, the one who doesn't say no to anybody. The goody two shoes. Everyone expects so much from me and I'm tired of giving. My best will never be good enough. Both of my brothers are the 'popular' ones, they get the friends and the girls and me... Well I'm just nick." I was breathing very heavily. I looked up to demi, and she was crying. Why was she crying? I took my thumb and run it across her face and smiled then continued.

"I first started.. Well, harming myself at 14, it was on and off I didn't think it was a problem. They weren't deep it was just made me feel in control. But it started to get worse this year, my career was rapidly changing and joe was 'the star' and I didn't feel good enough. So I started to develop an eating disorder. Well I didn't think of it as that, I didn't think I was mentally ill but it just took control of my thoughts and I can't stop it. I want it to stop, I want to recover. I just don't know how, I'm not strong enough for that yet."

DEMI

How could nick think he wasn't good enough? I loved him! He was amazing, he was better than good! I was crying just listening to him say that. Nick didn't deserve this!! Nick slowly wiped my tear as I smiled, reassuring him to continue. When he stopped speaking I was shocked. How did no one realise? But soon enough I was snapped out of my thoughts And realised it was my turn to speak.

"Well I guess it's my turn" I spoke.

"It's okay demi, I will never judge you, this will help you get better, trust me" nick said as he cupped my hands in his making me feel comfortable and safe.

"Well for me it's self harm and an eating disorder too. I developed horrible thoughts from a very young age, about 11 I would say. I used to get bullied in school before I was home schooled and my life was a living hell. Everyday I was constantly judged for my weight and one day I couldn't handle it anymore and I just wanted a release. I saw other people harming themselves so I thought it was okay. It is kinda a constant battle between two disorders because when I have my eating disorder in control I harm myself because I think I look fat but when I'm not self harming I'm using the negative thoughts to stave or purge. I just don't know what to do or how to get out of this cycle."

I looked up to nick as he squeezed my hand for reassurance. "I'm glad we did this, I feel a lot better" nick said. "I feel the same, I just feel weak now that I say it aloud".

"Look dem, we are both weak and the first step is to admit that but we will get stronger, together!" He was right. Now that I had nick things would be easier, I had someone to talk to that gets it! We both fell asleep in a huddle, slowly breathing as nick whispered "I'll be your nightingale"