university (an l.s. fic)

chapter one

It wasn't until three the first morning that I knew my insomnia was going to be a problem in university. Back in high school, night after night I would stay up late, simply because my brain forced me to do nothing else. The next day, I would roll through my classes with sleep still caked in my eyes. C's and B's are pretty okay in grades six through twelve, but once you've made it to uni, it's a completely different thing. You feel like you're suffocating, getting crushed by the pressure of adulthood, the stakes are suddenly higher, etcetera, etcetera. And at that point the classes hadn't even started yet. A lot of people aren't nearly equipped to handle such situations, except I was a bit different.

Sure, being away from home was a downer, and sure, I missed seeing my family, but I was lucky to actually be in university. Taking into account all of my past procrastination, it was a close call in seeing whether I was going to actually make it to the next school or not. The campus was pretty good; a beautiful space with a friendly faculty, not to mention a pretty nice flatmate. I was pleasantly surprised how easily this new independence was coming to me, living away from home was loads more exciting than not. 

University residence halls are quiet on a Thursday night, especially when half of the first year class still has yet to move in. Across from me was my flatmate, Liam Payne, lightly snoring on his mattress. He was an extremely attractive guy, with dark hair and an exceedingly toned body. Unfortunately, this boy was straighter than anyone I had met in quite awhile, a picture of his girlfriend as his iPhone wallpaper. He'd taken me out to a local pub that night for drinks, talking highly of his family and upbringing. So far, I had no complaints, but this was only the first day of many.

I'd been tossing and turning in the dark for quite awhile now, rustling around every so often to find a new, and hopefully, more comfortable position. Liam had proved to be a deep sleeper in these first few hours together, and I didn't want him to change his opinions of me by continuing to move about noisily. Well, at least not yet.

Quickly and quietly, I got out of bed and put on some joggers and a sweatshirt. With the time I had left on a mostly empty campus, I might as well get to explore. I made sure I had my keys and cell phone before I left, although I knew that no one would be up at this hour to be trying to contact me. Closing the door softly, I snuck down the hall and away from the idea of sleeping. It was hard to call university 'home' now that I was away from my family, because this was only a temporary stage of my life. The next four years felt more like a roadblock than an upcoming milestone, my bachelor's degree couldn't come soon enough.

The dorms were sectioned off by gender, which, in my opinion, is incredibly unhelpful in the case of students who may be agender, nonbinary, or something similar. Out of the two floors, the top was for the women and the bottom for the men. Lavatories were communal and showers only stalls with curtains. Privacy was hard to come by in university dorms, but the stalls were oddly comfortable considering how short they were.

I strode into the common room leisurely, expecting to see an empty space before me. Instead, I was rather surprised when presented with the opposite. Sitting at the long, open table was a lad with shaggy brown hair. He looked about my age, staring down at a paper cup of coffee, headphones stuck in his ears. If I was being honest, I thought he was good looking, but I wasn't close to actually admitting that to anyone but myself. I hadn't been out of the closet for too long, and there was no need to create any kind of label for myself in my first week. God knows that I didn't need to be labeled as 'the gay kid'.

His head stayed down, and as I approached him, I began to hear the music blasting into his ears grow louder. I came to a slow stop in front of him, not knowing whether to sit down or stay standing. I waited until I heard his song finish, then cleared my throat loudly. He yanked his headphones out violently, then paused his music. He avoided eye contact with me.