"Heartbroken and Lonely"

"Confiding To The Sea"

I'm so deep I'm swimming,

With the liars and the sharks.

My insecurity is winning,

Pressurizing my heart.

I'm sinking now,

To the depths of my being.

Don't know how,

To stop this fleeing.

I run from hardship,

And don't look back.

A bastardized trick,

Because it stays in my lap.

I can't escape it,

Want to reshape it,

But I will just take it,

Because I can't remake it.

They are my fears,

Circling my sinking body.

Teeth ready to shear,

With tired lies so gaudy.

I can't swim away,

My hands are tied.

So I am forced to stay,

As they tear my hide.

Eating me up,

They fill my cup,

I'm just a pup,

Without a sup.

Hungry for love,

But it's afraid of me.

Screaming at the above,

But nobody can see.

I've sunk too deep,

Now I can't weep,

I can't just leap,

Into peaceful sleep,

I can't get away,

As the sharks slowly creep.

Why is my heart so full of water?

Why do sharks feed on my fears?

What this sea means to me,

It's all my lost and lonely tears.

It's all the pain that I have felt,

In the short time I have lived.

It lascerates and welts,

Takes and never gives.

I must flush the sadness,

If I want to try again.

But that would just be madness,

I can't be more than friends.

I am far too scary,

For anyone.

Results may vary,

If I load this gun.

I don't want to shoot you,

With a loving projectile.

Don't want to pollute you,

With my true face, a reptile.

Cold eyes,

Full of lies,

I really tried,

To abide,

But my free will died,

And I can't confide...

Even to myself...