I saw him before he saw me. He was just as handsome as I remember. Tall, but not overwhelmingly tall. A gentleness to his features, to all except his burning brown eyes. His eyes held his passion, his trauma and his dreams. He wasn't the type of man you easily forgot. He was the type that haunted your sleepless nights.
I glanced up toward his face to finish admiring the beauty I never thought I'd see again and he was looking straight at me. I was praying he would turn around and just walk away but of course he didn't.
"Katy?" The way his voice caressed my name gave me shivers.
"Derric, it's so nice to see you. How have you been?" I tried to sound like I wasn't just gawking at him a moment ago.
"Yeah I've been okay. My dad's cancer came back so I moved back into town to help my brother take care of him. It's worse than before this time." He didn't sound like he was phased but if he were the same man he was two years ago, this is tearing him apart.
"Oh no, Derric I'm so sorry to hear that. If there is anything you need, you can always talk to me. I know it's been a while but I'm still here for you." Even though we ended pretty terribly.
"Yeah sure. Gotta go. Nice seeing you again." With that he turned and left out the door of the book store.
A large part of me hoped he'd never come back. But a small part of me still longed for him.
********
Finally getting home after a long day at the bookstore was always nice. Especially when I stopped for Mexican take out on the way home. You can never really go wrong with tacos.
As I sat here in my small apartment all I could think about was Derric. No matter how hard I tried not no. I left him. Completely abandoned him, I had no right to be thinking about him. But I had left him for what? Because I was scared and insecure?
Wanting to reminisce a little and tear my heart out some more I dug out my old phone and read some old messages I tried but could never delete.
Derric: "you know, I've been thinking something crazy lately."
Me: "yeah like what?"
Derric: "what if we are meant to be? What if we are supposed to be together? You're the only woman who sees through my darkness. I think I'm falling..."
I set the phone down as my eyes started to well up with tears. He didn't deserve what I did. He deserves way better than me. Way better.
*****
Going into the bookstore the next morning was rough. He had been right in front of my face and I couldn't even say sorry. I mean I guess the chances of me ever really seeing him again were pretty slim.
I pulled open the heavy dark wooden door to the bookstore to reveal that Jeff, one of my not so hot employees, was not here to open the store like he was supposed to. How shocking.
As I started to get the till ready for the day the bell for the door went off. "I'm so sorry we aren't open ye-" I started to day I my green eyes met burning brown eyes. Derric stood before me expression blank.
"I'm here for work, you own the place I figured you'd keep better tabs on who's hired." He said annoyed.
"Yeah I'm sorry I had a conference in Florida for a couple of weeks so Jeff did the hiring while I was away." I added timidly.
"I'm not gonna lie, I had no clue you owned the place until someone said your name last week. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I saw you again." He didn't sound thrilled at the idea of working for me at all.
"Oh, I can give you three weeks of full pay if you want to find a different job. I'm sorry for what happened a couple of years ago, I was a coward and shouldn't of-" he cut me off. "No need, this job pays well and I like it here. What happened before happened and we can't change it. Lets just be professional and move forward." He said it like he had rehearsed it. "Yeah sounds great. I should teach you how to open being as Jeff can never seem to do his job." I have had it with that guy. "Hey give the dude a break, his girlfriend skipped out on him a couple of months ago and took everything he's just depressed." Well I hadn't known that. I'm a terrible boss. Just like that Jeff came barreling through the door.
"Oh my gosh Katherine! I'm so sorry I'm late again it will not happen ever again." His face was white as a ghost. "Hey no worries, you work pretty hard around here and I'm sorry I never notice. Why don't you take a week off starting Sunday and I'll give you pay for the week?" I offered hoping that it will help him relax and move forward from him funk he's in.
"Seriously? Katherine that would be amazing. I've had a lot on my chest lately and it was help so much," He said dumbfounded. "Yeah it will give me some time to train the new guy too. Take some time and clear your head." I felt like a better boss already.
***
Later that evening before close Derric came over to me.
"That was a really nice thing you did for Jeff," he said.
"Yeah well you pointed out that he just needed a break and I should pay more attention to my employees if I want to be a good boss." I meant that. I feel like I have no idea who the people I spend my days with are anymore.
"It reminded me of the person who I used to love." Used to. Ouch.
"Yeah. Everyone changes." I said offended. He comes back, works at MY store then has the audacity to be a flipping ass? Wow.
"Hey, a part of me being a good boss consists of me not letting you be disrespectful because of personal business." I mention angrily.
"I'm sorry, you're right. It won't happen again," he genuinely sounded apologetic.
