Behind Her Innocence (Hughes Series)

Chapter 28: Unforgiveness

Gwen's POV

"I am sorry, Gwen."

I stopped sobbing for a moment when he spoke. I didn't know we were left alone.

My cries turned into anger when I looked at him. My hands formed into fists, and I hurriedly went to him and start punching his chest again and again. "Kasalanan mo to! Kasalanan mo! Kasalanan mo!"

I went hysterical. I was hitting him so hard with all my force pero ni hindi niya man lang ako pinigilan.

"If you didn't approach me at all, if you didn't date me and made me fall in love with you, hindi sana nangyari to! You made me do things I never thought I could do!" I punched him harder and cried my heart out. "Kung hindi mo ako niyayang pakasalan ka, hindi sana nangyari lahat ng ito. Kung hindi mo sana ako iniwan, hindi sana ganito ang situation. It was all your fault. Kasalanan mo..." Humina ang boses ko sa huli at ang tanging nagawa ko nalang ay humagulgol. I stopped punching him so he grabbed the chance to envelope me in his arms. Napahagulgol ako sa dibdib niya.

"Alam kong malaki ang kasalanan ko sayo, Gwen. Pero sana wag mo naman isisi sakin ang lahat. Kasi ako, hindi ko pinagsisihan na naging espesyal ka sa buhay ko. I don't regret all the times when I was with you," he said and I felt him kissed the top of my head.

Hindi ako nakatutol kasi nanghihina na ako sa kakaiyak. All I could do was to cry.

"I maybe an a*sshole but I never played with you, Gwen. Oo at madali lang kitang napakawalan at iniwan but that didn't mean I never thought of you for all those years. You're the only woman who has been so special to me and holds a place in my heart for a long time now."

Yeah, right. Ang sarap sana pakinggan kung hindi lang ako nasasaktan ngayon. But I didn't believe him anymore. Sobrang sakit na nung iniwan niya ako for his selfish reasons. I didn't want that to happen again.

"Gwen, bakit hindi mo sinabi? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin na may anak tayo?"

I was caught off guard. Bigla akong natigilan at napalayo sa kanyang yakap para titigan siya na parang nababaliw na siya.

"Why would I tell you? Wala ka namang pakialam sakin kasi ang dali mo nga akong iniwan. I didn't think telling you that we have a child ay magbabago ang isip mo. Mas lalo kapa sigurong lalayo sa akin. Ganun kanaman diba? You love running away from responsibilities."

He looked hurt from hearing what I said. "Pero sana sinubukan mo parin. Pwedeng magbago ang desisyon ko, alam mo ba yun? Syempre tungkol na yun sa anak natin. For sure na pag-iisipan ko yun."

Napailing ako. "Posible nga pero ako, hindi na nagbago ang desisyon ko."

Napasuklay siya ng buhok niya sa inis. He sighed before he faced me. "I'm confused. Don't get me wrong. I am happy to know that we have a daughter. Pero paano nangyari yun? I mean, kahit kailan hindi sumagi sa isip ko na may anak pala akong maaaring nabuo sayo kasi nga diba napagkasunduan natin dati na hindi pa tayo pwedeng magka-anak dahil komplikado pa ang sitwasyon?"

I wiped my tears and faced him.

Tama siya. Yun naman talaga ang plano namin. Hanggat magulo pa ang lahat ay hindi muna kami magkakaroon ng anak. Isa pa, bata pa kami nun para maging magulang. Ayaw namin biglain ang sarili namin.

"I loved you that time, Aaron. At naisip ko na mahal mo naman ako kaya giving you a child would make you love me more and that would make you stay with me, that it would make you not leave me. I wanted you to be with me in our lifetime. That was how much I loved you." Tears fell from my eyes upon reminiscing those things. "But I was wrong, hindi mo pala ako ganun ka mahal para iwan nalang ng basta-basta. That's why I thought you didn't deserve to be a father of our child because you chose to leave me."