Letters in time

Chapter one

The soft droplets of rain were beating down on the black impala that my father owned. Knowing myself as a rebellious child , I  never liked to wear seat belts but when my father noticed he turned to me and said, "Becca, put your seatbelt on. It's raining hard and the streets are dangerous." As I put my seatbelt on thinking to myself, my father never seemed to wear a seatbelt either. Wondering why I had to if he didn't. Then suddenly a bright light was heading towards us and in seconds, everything went black.

        I woke up in tears and sweat, crying from the horrific dream of the accident that night . Missing my father every second. Blaming myself for his death wishing he put his seatbelt on also, thinking it would have saved his life and he will still be here . But you can't change faith.

I look up at the ceiling, thinking to myself that if I go back to sleep the dream wouldn't continue but, I could never convince myself that it was okay. I picked my phone up from my eerily neat desk on the the right side on my bed. Realizing it was 5:50 A.M, there would be no sense for me to go back to bed.

     I get up knowing that I have no energy for anything . Bad dreams really do drain the sleep out of you. Ive decided to lay back down to get 30 more minutes of sleep. Since school didn't start until 8:30 A.m. and I wouldn't take long to get myself ready like most girls. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted back to sleep.

     My eyes flashed open and I gasped for air. I sat up slowly, wiping my forehead and neck, both damp with sweat. I checked the perimeter of the room, but my dream was already fading. I kicked the covers off and stopped. If it was August, I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but it wasn't. It was September, which meant school and the heat this early was uncanny. I got out of bed and stumbled to the shower, hoping I was just overheated.

As I grabbed the towel and dried my hair, the heat once again caught my attention. I checking my forehead to see if I had a fever, unlucky I didn't. I went to open my window to let in fresh air in; still in my towel. I walk over to my closet and pull out a pair of light skinny jeans, and my favorite red hoodie. Yes , I know it's the middle of September but the hoodie makes me feel safe. It used to be my dad's so therefore, even if it was 100 degrees outside I would still wear this hoodie.

After getting dressed, I brush my hair and put it in the usual ponytail. There isn't much I can do with my hair considering it's straight. I Always look in the mirror comparing myself to most girls, knowing that my father isn't around but theirs are. How can I not compare myself to them, how can I not think there better than me. Just imagine how can I ever think that I'm normal, If he isn't here to see—

"Becca hurry up I don't want to be late for work and I know you wouldn't want to be late for school.", getting cut off by my mother telling me it's time to go. I never agree with my mom but this time, I would say that she's right. Missing school isn't the best idea for anyone. Being behind and catching up on assignments is the hardest thing anyone could ever deal with.

    Grabbing my book bag from the floor, taking one last look into the mirror making sure reality is still in place, knowing that I wasn't dreaming anymore.

     Walking downstairs, I see my mother standing by the front door waiting for me. "Did you wake up late again?", her hands on her hips as if she's getting impatient.  I grabbed my white converses from the coat closet by the front door.

     "No, my shower took longer than I expected", I said quietly knowing that it was a lie. As usual she didn't reply but ignored me. My mother never asked me questions anymore. She never asked me how the accident happened, nor did she ever ask if I was okay. Sometimes, I think she blames me for what happened to dad. It makes me question if it really was my fault. After getting my shoes  on, I walk out the door and get into the car that my mother is already sitting in. I can tell she's irritated by the look she's making .

I know she means well, if she didn't I probably wouldn't be here. My aunt offered to take me when I was 10 after my dad passed. It would have made it harder on my mom then it already was. Losing her husband and then her daughter. I knew she needed Me, although I wasn't much help.

The car ride was silent. I wish my bond with my mother was stronger but wishing can go a long way and never happen, maybe just a drop of faith was all I needed. After my father died my mother lost her voice and so did I. Sometimes it seemed like I couldn't talk anymore, it's been 7 years and I'm still not over it .

   We arrive at school, not saying a word to my mom when I step out the car. She did the same. I used to tell her I loved her before I left but over the years of not hearing it back, I've decided to not say it anymore .

I arrived at 8:25 A.M and entered my classroom before 8:30, considering I was late I didn't have time to go to my locker, which means I didn't grab my books. I go and take my seat in the back of the classroom, so no one would notice me. Having no friends in school is weird because you'll find people with people, talking or gossiping about what so and so did yesterday. I never wished to have people talk to me. I always ignored what they had to say. Clearly I could tell it wasn't important because they weren't bleeding or crying.

Mr. Friday, my teacher walked into the classroom. Telling everyone to take their seats. He had a grey button up shirt, a black tie, and blue jeans. He was considered as a laid back teacher, that only plays videos and gives us test but no work. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind his method of teaching but I at least wanted to learn something hands on. It also gave me time to write my letters.

I pulled out an envelope and a sharpie. Looking around to see who's name will I write on the envelope. I didn't really know who to pick and the sound of the video Mr.Friday was playing over powered my thoughts. Getting irritated at myself and the sound of the smart bord. I started tapping the pen on my desk so my anxiety wouldn't over power me. The tapping soon ran out of effect on calming me down. The car on the screen crashed into another car, and I lost it. I stood up and screamed; not noticing what was happening or where I was. Everything seemed so real. Like I was once in the car. Everyone looked towards the back of the class room, which means they were looking at me. Whispers and laughter flooded the classroom. Noticing I was at school and created all the attention I've ever received. I just wanted to run away, so I did.

I picked up my book bag  and ran out the classroom leaving my envelope and sharpie on my desk. Hearing foot steps running after me made me run faster. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, turning them dark shade of red. Then suddenly a hand pulled my arm and stopped me. I fell to the floor crying, wishing my dad was here to help me, hold me, or even talk to me . I realized I had no one . I never will have anyone. The hand was still holding on to my arm. I couldn't catch my breath, it's like I forgot how to breath. Everything started to fade to a blur, then everything went black. Once again just like my dream. My fantasy suddenly turned into reality.

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Hey guys, A/N. I will Be posting every week. I hope you liked the first chapter 😢🤟🏻. It's kinda short but I promise there will be longer ones. You'll just have to wait and see. Any questions I'm available all the time! Stay positive.