The day I lost myself

Prologue - Aemilia

Hi guys,  so this is the prologue of my book. I'll post whenever I can, it might be two chapters a day or one every two days or something like that. I hope you like it. I'm sorry if the punctuation is bad, I can't be bothered to fix it (that shows dedication, not). I'm always open to feedback to improve it. Thanks.

The author 

Allyse scribbles another dress design in her book, attentive to every single curve and crease. I find myself rolling my eyes, temptation twitches through my hands ready to strike.  I know I shouldn't, she hates it when I purposely bump the pencil but I can't stop myself. I  snigger at the annoyed look on her face. She hisses at me 'seriously! You just ruined my design!'. I find myself rolling my eyes  again, I really should stop doing that, since it winds up everyone I do it to more. I sigh, 'sorry, here use my rubber'.  It's Allyse's turn to sigh now, taking my rubber gratefully, 'you can be so difficult sometimes, Aemilia,'. I grin at her, 'oh of course, but you love me anyway'. Allyse laughs, 'yes, yes I do'. This is how my day works. My friend are the best I ever wanted and school is always great fun with them. But sometimes I think they don't feel the same way toward me. I've always been the weird one, the over sharing loud one. But it's all the things I don't say that speaks the loudest. 

The bell  pulls me back into reality, I collect my equipment and head out to lunch. Lunch is always the same, us all laughing about a dirty topic most of which come out of my mouth by accident. The group is sitting in a circle in our usual spot, a the courner of a massive shelter, surrounded by bushes that always have kids running through them. I sit in my usual spot in the circle, Drew to my left and Amelia to my right.  Alyssa grins at me, her mousey hair falls messily over her shoulder, 'so,' she murmurs wickedly, 'truth or dare,'.  We love truth or dare. It's our favourite game to play, except some of us are wimps and either say that it's too embarrassing or they don't want to move from our spot. My mind flickers through the options; truth is always the same one however it's really safe while dare always involves my crush but it's really fun. My voice rings out loud and clear, 'dare,'. Alyssa's wicked grin gets even wider. Her voice drops to a whisper, 'Tell Krishan you like him!' The group gasps but they don't disagree with it. I open my mouth to argue but I see Alyssa stare at me, the challenge evident in her eyes. No, I wasn't going to let her see me back out, so instead I nod. Amelia looks at me curiously, 'are you sure?' she asks. I sigh, all the girls except Allyse I've been friends with since primary school, the boys and Allyse joined our group in high school and together we are unstoppable. I adore them, they make my life whole. All of us stand up but I turn to them, 'no,' I say, 'I'm doing this alone. You have to trust that I'll tell him,'. They sit down, 'go' Tahliah mouthed to me. I start walking, part of me is screaming to turn around but the other part is wanting me to confess my feelings to him. 'Hey!' I call, Krishan turns around and smiles at me, 'hey, Aemilia, do you want to talk to me?' . I find myself smiling back at him, 'actually I do,' , he raises one eyebrow and gestures for me to go on, I take a deep breath, 'I like you, wait no, I love you!' I cry. I cover my eyes, not wanting to see a reaction. 'I th...' the bell cuts him off. 'Arrrrrrrrm bye!' I mutter not daring to look him in the face and race off  to my last class of the day.

  I can't focus in class, my head is creating all the situations between me and him. Although me head is spinning, the class goes unusually fast and the bell rings through my ears.  I run to catch the bus. Today I'm lucky, and I get seat. Allyse comes and sits next to me and we fall into conversation like we always do. The forty minutes drag by and we soon run out of things to talk about and sit in a comfortable silence, with the companionship between us, filling our need to talk.  My stop comes around, saying a quick goodbye to Allyse and her returning it and head out of the bus. I drag my feet across the pavement. A car revs in the distance, I pause, gaze looking for it. The car peaks over, going way too fast. A gut feeling tells me to run and I agree with it. My footsteps echo around me.  I can hear the car gaining on me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I slow down to a stop. The car gets louder and louder until... . A scream racks my body. Pain flows through me, not stopping not slowing. Is this what dying feels like? I see memories flash before my eyes. I gasp for air, but nothing will save me now. I close my eyes and let the blackness take me, as a single tear rolls down my face.