Solving my cases,
smoking 'cause of stress.
Saving the day,
and a damsel in distress.
I drink like a fish,
and swear like a sailor.
I buy fabrics for suits,
and send ‘em to a tailor.
I carry a gun that I hate,
because I often have to use it.
I think I’d rather save a life.
than force another man to lose it.
I have a bar that I frequent,
‘The Filthy Swirl’.
I drink a lot there,
maybe pick up a girl.
I smoke a lot too,
y’know, among other things.
After a lot of cigs n’ practice,
I can now make smoke rings.
My adventures are bloody,
intense, and emotional.
With links to my past,
beyond what is rational.
I have an arch-nemesis,
and it ain’t banal.
Since I've got a love interest,
who’s a femme-fatale.
I open crypts and escape,
from hidden monesteries.
I attack nuclear facilities,
while working cemeteries.
I get challenged publicly,
by random serial killers.
The Maharajah thanked me,
for finding his golden pillars.
It’s what I signed up for,
and how I get by.
Another day in the life,
of a Private Eye.
