letters || niall horan.

february 24th, 2013.

{ unedited }

hi niall,

so as i said earlier, i'm gonna write my letter that i'm gonna give you in here, and that's the only letter i'm giving, here it goes.

dear niall,

let's start with how i honestly can't believe i'm meeting you, you're actually gonna be standing in front of me, i can't believe it, i've been fantasying so many years about meeting you, and it's finally happening, i feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world.

i just wanna tell you that you helped me through so much in my life, you actually saved me, i never liked myself, never have and never will be, you don't understand how it feels to be living with so much pain, how it feels like to be bullied ever day, to be told that you need to go to a mental institute, or maybe you do, i don't know. I feel like you've been stopping me from doing things I actually don't even want to do, i tried to commit suicide one time, to go away from all the pain, it didn't work, i woke up again, please don't hate me. I always made myself throw up after I ate cause i hate how fat i am, i always looked in the mirror and told myself how ugly i am, i write you letters, every single day, about how i feel and about what happened and about how you make me feel, but i didn't brought them with me today cause i wanna keep writing them after today.

you make me whole again, you keep me sane, you give me power, you make me feel worth it, you make me feel beautiful, you make my days so much better, when you smile, i smile, when you're sad, i'm sad, i'm in love with you Niall Horan, I know you hear that a lot, but I really am, I can't explain how you make me feel, the feeling I get when I see you, can't be described, you mean the absolute world to me, and i wish i did the same to you, i wish you were mine, i wish i was the one who could hold your hand, i wish i was the one you would kiss, i wish i was the one who you would say i love you to, i wish you loved me the same way i love you.

whenever i say "I love you", it's only you i'm talking about, but whenever you say "I love you" you're talking to a million of other girls, and that hurts so much, cause after all that you've done for me, you'll never look at me the same way i look at you.

i didn't mention anything about cutting, and that's because i haven't got there yet, because of you, i wanted to do it a couple times, trust me i really wanted, but i didn't because of you, i didn't want you to be disappointed in me, i didn't wanted to let you down, you're my escape niall, my knight in shining amor, my hero, my lifesaver, my angel, my prince, my all, my soul, every breath i take, every step i make, i do it for you, you make my life worth living niall.

I love you more than anything in the world, I'm so proud of you, for being where you are now, you deserve all of this, it was your dream, and you made it come true, i love you sunshine, i love you so much. Thank you for saving me, but most importantly,

Thank you for not giving up on me, when I gave up on myself, thank you for believing in me.

Love,

Ashley *:･ﾟ✧

-------

okay, so that was the letter she wrote to give to niall on the day that she's meeting them, hope you liked it!

also, sorry for not updating yesterday, i fell asleep at like 7pm, i was so tired, sorry guys! And also sorry if there are mistakes in the chapter i made this on my phone!

love you lots

please vote & comment what you think!