A/N - There will be mentions of suicide in this chapter. If you are sensitive to that, please skip this part since the reader is suicidal, rather than Heather MacNamara.
"Okay kids, come on out, I want you to work with me, I want you to share your pain. I want you to drag it into the light where we all can take a look at it!" Ms Fleming asked.
"I've thought about killing myself," you say. It takes all your courage to say it.
"What the hell are you doing?" Heather Duke demands.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, keep talking (Y/N), you're in a safe place. It's just you and me and the classmates who love you. Share. It's gonna be okay," Ms Fleming signals for you to stand in the centre, with all the cameras pointing at you.
"(Y/N), get back in line!" Duke hisses.
"Zip it!" Ms Fleming says.
"Well, two of my best friends killed themselves because they were gay for each other and no one around here seems to care too much, and Heather Chandler, another very close friend, seemed to be doing fine, but she killed herself too. No one cares that they're gone and no one thinks about what their friends are going through, and what I might be feeling right now. I feel like, if I go too, all the pain will just go away," you say. You're only lying a tiny bit. You're feeling like this, in part, due to your boyfriend killing them and using you as a pawn in his game. He may say he loves you, but you sometimes wonder, and that makes you feel even worse.
"What's your damage, (Y/N)? Are you saying Westerburg is not a nice place," Heather Duke grabs your arm as the other students close in around you, except for Veronica, Heather MacNamara and JD.
"Heather," Ms Fleming says, "lets not be mean spirited."
"Why don't you just disappear, no one will miss you," she sneers.
"Alright, alright, calm it down..."
You try and run off, but you can't quite get through everyone. You feel tears sting in your eyes.
"Aw, (Y/N)'s gonna cry," a girl says mockingly. You manage to push your way through the students. You almost make it to the bathroom before collapsing on the floor and sobbing. You reach into your pocket and grab the bottle of sleeping pills you've been carrying around.
You try to open the lid, but you can't quite do it.
"Stupid childproof caps," you say through tears. You keep replaying what the students said to you in your head. You can't stop thinking about it. You just don't want to deal with this anymore.
You hear footsteps behind you, and soon JD is kneeling by your side. He sees the pills instantly.
"(Y/N), oh my god, you weren't seriously considering this," he says. You nod.
"And everything you said was true?"
"Uh huh."
He takes the pill bottle from you.
"I had no idea. You should have told me. I hate to see you like this," he says.
"It wasn't just what I said. It's the killing. Its too much," you say. You look down.
"Its me. I'm the reason," he says quietly. He gently lifts your chin up to look at him.
"(Y/N), I swear to god I will never kill another person," he wipes a tear from your eye.
"Thank you," you whisper. He pulls you into a hug and holds you tightly. You start crying again, not sure if you're still upset about Heather Duke or if you're crying from relief.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers as he strokes your hair, "I'm so sorry."
YOU ARE READING
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