The Burning Thoughts Inside

Crazed Thoughts

-Lana's Point of View-

My black business heals clicked on the tile floor and echoed through the long, empty hallway as I entered St. Marcy Lane Hospital which I had been working at for about 2 years now. Murmuring voices drifted down the hall towards me and I heard just enough to recognize the sound of my name: La-na. My curious intentions told me to ease drop on the pitiful doctors who had nothing better to talk about than me, the young doctor, who just happened to be favored by Dr. Martin.

As usual, the angel and devil appeared on my right and left shoulders, begging me to choose between the right thing and the wrong, listen to their conversation, or continue to head towards my destination .

Fighting the devil away was always harder than expected, even in for the tiniest decisions. The angel was always easy to listen to, that is only, if the devil's argument was weaker than a new born kitten, which was very rare. And at times when they both appeared with strong arguments, I just think of the most important thing to me: being successful in my medicine courier.

And this would usually do it: poof! The imaginary self consciences had disappeared leaving a fake trail of imaginary dust behind them.

By the time I had gotten over the crazed thoughts, the whispering had stopped and it was too late to follow the devil's trail and listen to their secret conversation. At least this time my decisions hadn't lead me to do the wrong thing, instead the doctors had stopped me themselves.

I continued my journey to the doctors lounge as I brushed past many of the busy doctors wheeling portable beds around the white halls, and other supplies for a very sick patient in the emergency room.

"Busy day, is it, Charlene." I spoke, to a middle aged nurse who sat at a wooden desk on floor 3.

"That's not a question, is it, Dr. Merdes." Poor Charlene replied, very much wishing that Lana would walk away, and take the gray cloud with large shadows that covered the entire hall whenever Lana entered, with her.

"Oh you know me too well, Charlene." I quickly said in an unenthusiastic tone, as she sorted through a crate of files, and then picked up the one she was looking for.

"Of course I do, who doesn't?" Charlene mumbled sourly, glad that the gloomy conversation was coming to an end, although it was perhaps the shortest a conversation could be, Charlene felt as if this one had lasted longer than both of them had wanted it to, and that was perfectly true.

And I just decided that it was about time to walk away.

The doctors lounge was only of the 4th floor, and didn't take that long to arrive at, although many doctors and nurses were constantly walking right in my direction, and moving out of my way right before our fingers would meet.

As I entered a large room with two mini refrigerators, a freezer, a water dispenser, a couch,cane two big, soft chairs, my beeper set off and I answered swiftly before it could ring more than thrice.

"Patient Conners in room 264 is waiting for you to see him. He got here last night at 1:00 in the morning because he fainted four times yesterday." An assistant paged in.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said smoothly.

And after that I ventured a long trip all the way to the other end of the hospital.

On my way, I heard a rumor, a very juicy rumor, or, it would have been juicy, if it had not been about ME!

" Hey didn't you hear about Luke Conners and Lana?" A mysterious voice exclaimed excitedly with a tone of singing in her voice.

"Duh! Of course!" Another very young sounding voice replied, obviously happy about the news too.

My mouth literally dropped open in awe. A surge of questions popped into my head, and I guess that I couldn't hold all of them inside my head so, one slipped out of my dry mouth, that wasn't dry from the beginning, but all of that gawking dried my entire mouth out.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked in a whisper

The girls, not knowing that they were not in my sight at all, and we're quite invisible to me, ran off, without saying a word, and I could only tell that they escaped my wrath was that because, a serious of noisy squeaks filled the halls and rang in my ears for the next ten minutes.

That ruined my almost happy mood, and stuck a rude scowl on my precious face.

And there I was, standing in front of my first patient of the day's room.

And when I opened that door, I hadn't realized that doing this, was going to ruin the part of my life, that I wanted the most, that I worked for the most, that was the MOST important thing to me........ For now...

As soon as I entered, a few groans were heard by my ears, and then some grunts of uncomfortableness, and one sniffle,that sounded more like a snort.

And that made me laugh. Which was a good thing, because I haven't laughed in 3 days.

"Why, if you just dressed yourself in pink and and made those sounds again, I could have easily mistaken you for an overgrown pig!"

The patient turned and gave me a harsh glare.

And then reality punched me in the face.

"Oh, excuse me, sorry." I stated and faced my head to the ground.

Something, had just surged through me to just make such a rude comment like that. Normally it wasn't like me at all.

"Apology accepted." The patient replied.

"But usually I don't get doctors who would dare be so disrespectful to me." He said in a sarcastic way.

Suddenly my old, uptight self reclaimed my body and took over once more.

So I looked at his chart and searched for his name. Luke Conners.

My slightly parted lips turned into a deep scowl and I faced Luke.

I could obviously tell he was not expecting that from me, by the almost hurt, or apologetic look on his face.

"You!!" I managed to spurt out.

"Umm... I'm sorry for what I did, now can you please explain to me what I did?" He said. Yeah right! I'm not buying it. I don't believe this whole little show he's putting on.

Now normally I wouldn't jump out at people like this, but for some reason, I felt really mad at Luke. And the funny thing is, he didn't do anything!!!

"Hey...." I softly whispered after looking into his deep blue eyes. My tone softened and I relaxed, and released Luke's wrists from my tight grip.

"Yeah, so you do remember!" He smiled and flashed a smile.

"Uhh... What? No, I'm sorry?" I was honestly so confused.

"Oh, yeah never mind..." His smile faded and turned into a frown, and he turned around on the other side of the bed.

"Umm.. Am I supposed to remember you?" I asked, not sure about what else to say.

Luke hesitated, with a slight shift in position, and his back still turned to me, he said, "No, just come and visit me later, I can't speak right now."

And to end these awkward moments I briskly left the room, and rushed down the, hall.

I was late, for another patient.