Dreaming of What Once Was

What Once Was

—hello! this was posted on archive of our own originally, @AciidWolf if you're wondering. this was a vent fic, so it's bound to have mistakes, sorry about that. enjoy!

~

She was young again, maybe 8 or so.

Little Olivia Colomar, reading a tattered book about programming on the top of her roof, facing the sun which would soon set. Already the sky was turning beautiful colors of orange, pink, and purple, which was making it slightly difficult for her to read. But she didn't want to go inside just yet - no, the wind felt nice, and the sun was just warm enough to where the wind didn't wash away all of her body heat.

She heard a presence behind her.

She didn't look up from her book as her father sat down beside her, gently ruffling her growing hair. She made a small noise of acknowledgement, but otherwise was unaffected.

Her father usually joined her up here, enjoying the scenery and her presence. It was one of the only nice things they could enjoy without hardship and stress.

Both of them were quiet, Olivia reading, her father relaxing, the wind blowing on their skin like a gentle caress. What was left of the sun cast long shadows across their faces and clothes, and the smell of late spring filtered in their noses.

Eventually, it got too dark to read, and Olivia shut her book quietly and set it aside. She then leaned on her dad, a hushed sigh making its way out of her. Her father patted her head, smiling down at her. "Hey, Liv." He finally spoke, eyes twinkling.

"Hi, dad." Olivia responded, looking up at him with innocent eyes. "How was work today?"

Her dad hesitated, then sighed, looking back out towards the sky. "Stressful. Few people got laid off today, it makes me worried.."

Olivia tensed up a bit, imagining the prospect of no money...

"But it'll be okay! We'll always be okay, querido." Her father told her, laughing a bit to get her to relax. "Especially with that talented little brain of yours. You'll make a name out of yourself, Liv. One day."

Olivia looked up at him with wondering eyes, the grip on his shirt tightening. "Will I really?"

"Of course, cariño. Of course you will."

They sat for a while, staring at the sun which was quickly disappearing below the horizon. It was getting chillier out, but Olivia didn't mind, she never has.

Her eyes were drawn to movement in front of her. About a foot in front of her crossed legs was a spider, and a small and black one at that. Olivia wouldn't have noticed it if she wasn't so observant of her surroundings at all times. Her head tilted slightly, curiously.

Her dad noticed the movement, and followed her line of sight to where the spider sat. "What do we have here?" He asked gently, leaning down to get a closer look at the spider. "Hmm.. looks like a black widow."

"A black widow? I thought.."

"Yeah, they don't usually go this far south of the Americas. I guess this one is an exception though. I wonder what she's doing here."

Although Olivia knew very well that black widows were one of the most dangerous spiders in the world, she felt inclined to hold it, to touch it.

Just like Widow-

No. Oh no, no..

"Dad?!" Sombra cried out, looking frantically beside her, only to find her dad was gone, to be replaced by ash floating away in the wind. Her breathing speeding up, she looked back towards her once peaceful village to find it in flames as well, the smell of spring and flowers replaced by the scent of burning corpses, death, and metal.

She didn't want this to happen, she couldn't stop it, she was helpless to it..

Closing her eyes and tilting her head up, she tried to calm herself down, wanting the feeling of helplessness to go away and never come back.

She knew this was a dream. Please, just wake up, wake up, wake up...

She looked back down at the widow, finding it in the same place as when she found it before. It slowly crawled towards her, and although Sombra wanted to jerk away, she found she couldn't, as if she was frozen in place. It crawled up her feet, legs, and arms, coming to a rest upon the back of her hand.

Then it watched her, as if it was waiting.

Swallowing harshly, Sombra looked back up towards the sky, only to find everything had gone dark, leaving only her and the widow.

She stared down at it for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for something to happen, anything.

Although she couldn't see it, she could feel the widow smile.

"You're not the only one who wished death upon themselves before it happened."

And the widow bit her.

-

Sombra woke with a gasp, sitting up abruptly and clutching at her chest. Sweat beaded at her forehead and her skin felt clammy as hell, as if she sat inside a sauna for a while. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. It was just a dream, just a dream...

"Sombra? Are you okay?"

Sombra almost jumped a bit at the voice of her girlfriend, forgetting she climbed in bed with her last night. Widowmaker was sitting up, staring at her with yellow eyes that was void of any outside emotion. Her cold hand felt like a blessing upon her hot skin, though it still sent chills down her spine.

"Yeah. Just a nightmare."

Widowmaker hummed in acknowledgment, not pressing on the subject, which she was glad for. Instead, she held out her arms in a gesture that meant let's cuddle. Sombra hurriedly complied, leaning into her arms like she leaned into her dad in her dreams. They both laid down, Sombra breathing in Widowmaker's scent to help her head know she was fine, she was safe now.

Sombra tucked her head underneath Widowmaker's chin, sighing softly. She thought about her dream, as much as she didn't want to, specifically about the last part.

You're not the only one who wished death upon themselves before it happened.

Obviously the widow was Widowmaker, that was easy to figure out. She had read extensively into her files in the past and knew everything about what happened and how. Widowmaker can't... feel anything, now. Sure, she can feel hungry and thirsty and every other thing that a human needed to survive, but emotions? Those were very limited for her, and Sombra felt special she caught the attention of the spider.

Does she ever feel angry for what Talon did to her?

"Hey, araña."

"Hm?"

Sombra hesitated. It wasn't any of her business, but...

"Do you care about the direction your life went?"

Widowmaker was quiet, for a moment, thinking on the question. Sombra couldn't see her face, in the position she was in; she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing.

"... If I could have chosen differently, I would have. However, what's done is done, and it doesn't matter now. Talon is my new home." Widowmaker finally responded, voice quiet.

Sombra understood.

"Thank you." She whispered, craning her neck up to press a gentle kiss to the corner of her lips.

Widowmaker only held her closer.