About Me (Please Don't Read Its Embarrassing)

Hate

I'm crumbling. Everything I once was is falling apart. I've forgotten who I am. I can barely remeber the days when I was younger. Living a life full of joy. When all of the world's problems meant nothing at all. Too bad time goes by.

I try and I try and I try. Nothing I do helps me. All I do is hurt myself even more. If you have read all of these entries then you know what's wrong with me. Honestly, this is the only way I feel I can help myself, but all it does is piss me off.

I hate you. Yes, you, the one reading this right now. Doesn't matter how nice you are to me or how much you care for me. I fucking hate you. It's your fault I'm like this. It's your fault.

I wish that were true. I know that it is my own fault for being this way. Do any of you know what its like to be alone? When I ask that I'm not looking for the same answer as always. Sure we all feel lonely and sure some of you say you don't have any friends, but I am deadly serious when I say that I don't have a single friend. No one to share my feelings with. I have never opened up to anyone, even though some of you reading this may feel like I have. Trust me when I say that I am a liar. I know that contridicts itself.

What am I even saying? So stupid.

I hate myself more than anything else in this world. My way of thinking is fucking retarted. What is my point? I don't know. My life is wonderful I couldn't ask for anything more. I love my life, but I hate who I am. Why can't I be different? Why can't I be the way I want to be. People say be yourself, but what if myself is a terrible, sickening, ugly, hateful, mean, annoying, obnoxious, asshole, fuck face? I strive to be anything but myself because I know that I am evil.

So, for you, the one reading this, I want you to know that I am not who you think I am. I am something entirely different.