I woke up to the sound of sirens, voices, and the scraping of crushed metal. My head was throbbing, I could no longer feel my legs. I remembered that I was in a train at Gare de Lyon. I had a feeling that it was late at night. I tried to open my eyes to find out what happened but the light sent a spike of pain through my head. I felt so alone in the piercing cold and flashing lights. I heard that someone was trying to talk to me. I could only make out a few words because of all the background noises.
"Hold on," then yelling, "She's losing to much blood." It sounded like they were talking about me. I tried to say something but I felt a warm hand touch mine, it felt like the desert sun was shining on my hand. I was in agony. My ears hurt from everything. A hot substance rolled down my face. Am I going to die? I thought. I started to feel too tired to hold on. I thought I was going to die at that point as I drifted in and out of sleep.
Suddenly, something went into my shoulder, the pain went away. I felt so relaxed for the first time in what feels like forever. That's all I remember happening because darkness surrounded me.
Voices ran through my head too fast for me to understand. I shot up in my medical bed in the hospital. Where am I? I questioned myself in my head. Someone walked into the room. It looked like a nurse. I was breathing heavily.
"Where is my mother?" I asked with my thick british accent. She didn't answer me. I started to freak out. The heart monitor when crazy. I heard the lady asking me to calm down but I didn't listen. "I'll go get the doctor, then he will answer any questions he can." She said trying to calm me down still. She left the room.
A few minutes later, the doctor came in and asked me the usual questions that they ask patients like what's your name, do you know why you are here? "Ms. Smithson, do you have any questions for me?" He asked.
"Where is my mother?" I asked demandingly. He looked at the nurse for something that looked like reassurance. I saw the nurse nod.
"Please calm down, Ms. Smithson. I will only tell you then." The doctor said.
I tried to calm down, really though it's hard to when you don't even know where your mother is. It's like not knowing how to walk.
"My name is Doctor Meroy, your mother was killed in the crash."
My heart was pounding, it was like everything was taken away from me and the world blew up all at once.
"Can I see the accident?" I asked. They look worried.
"Please?" I begged. They looked at each other. "Sorry but it's blocked off to the public." Mr. Meroy said. "Can I least go to the entrance of the station?" They saw the look on my face. "Fine," He said. "But under one condition. You do not go past the police tape." And with that I agreed.
When we got there, I ran right through the police tape into the station the very thing I told him I would not do. A policeman tried to stop me but I told him "I just want to see what it looks like." He reluctantly agreed. Before I go down the stairs I smile and nod to say thanks. I then noticed he was letting me see the accident because he was the one talking to me, telling me to hold on. Why does he look at me like I am related to him? I thought.
I walk down the stairs to the platform. The signs say the same thing before I got onto the train. I saw it. I saw the train wreckage. I wish I hadn't come to look at the train. It smelt like rotten corpses and it looked like a tornado came through here. I run out the of the station to a bench nearby. My eyes get all puffy. Now, I am going to cry. I need to stay strong. I think to myself. I see Mr. Meroy and the nurse walking towards me. I feel a large liquid roll down my cheek. It was hot, it was like the tear was burning. I was burning inside of my very own heart. "I need some time to myself." I told them as they now stood in front of me.
"Very well, we will leave you in peace." Mr. Meroy said respectfully.
"Peace?" I said questionably. Anger flowed through me, it most likely could be felt throughout the whole world. I just lost my mother. How can he say that? I thought then I suddenly felt something sink into my arm, liquid pulsing into my veins making me drift off into slumber. I had what seem to be a nightmare.
I looked over at my moms blond hair. "When are we going to leave?"I asked. She smiled. "Soon. We will be there just in time." Before I knew it the driver of the train started yelling into the intercom.
"Abandon the train!" My mother and I looked at each other but before we could move to get out. I could hear screams of pure horror. I couldn't tell what for though. I heard something coming down the tracks. People started running once they got out. Before I knew it, a sharp piece of metal jabbed me in the leg, metal from the roof of the train came and hit my head before the darkness fled over me leaving me in pure blackness.
I shot up from the nightmare in my room at the hospital. Breathing heavily I sighed, I put my head in hands. Hot wet tears were dripping down my face. I had to keep telling myself that it was a dream because it felt so real. It was real but in the past. I noticed a newspaper beside me on the nightstand. I picked up it and read the headline 'Paris train accident could have been avoided'. I read the article on the accident. I am getting released today. I've been in the hospital for three and half weeks for my injuries. I remember my mom telling me that my father was a policeman. I still wonder if the policeman that tried to stop me from seeing the accident was related to me in anyway. I have a broken ankle and a bunch of scars even on my heart.
Past the always seems to be present to me now. The memory comes back every now and then even if it's been months since. I keep telling myself when I wake up from a nightmare everything is going to be okay. I wish I could forget what happened and I try to but it won't go away. Life is going okay. I only have one wish and that is that no one should ever lose their mother or any other parent in a train accident that could have been avoided. Remember the officer that I was talking about. Well, I found my Dad.
I am out of highschool now. I love my Dad. We are a family, it was great; until he met my step-mother about 3 years ago. What bothers me about her is that she just waltzed in expecting me to just love and trust her. She thinks she can replaced my mother and be better than her. She never will. I know she tries hard but I just can't let her in. I no longer let anybody inside because I fear that I will lose them once I do. I will never feel love the same ever again. I will never love anybody but my Dad and my cousin, Luke. It's still hard for me to ride transit, I no longer trust the drivers. I am going to post-secondary to become a Theatre Technician. I want to help out people in tough times like I've been through but I don't know how. I still hurts to walk by Gare de Lyon or any other train station. I am 21. It's been four years. I feel like a tree that was struck by lightning not so long ago. I am leaving London to go to school in Los Angeles. Well..that's not the only reason. New city, New Emilie.
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Scarred Hearts Beat (Tom Hiddleston)
Fanfiction"Emilie McAvoy," I heard my cousin call out sternly to me as I walked by. I stopped mid step to turn and look at him. There was my cousin Luke Windsor and his friend I have never seen before. He was tall, dark-haired, bright blue-eyed and looked sha...
