suicide -complete-

first step

You've been depressed for years now only being a young adult, starting as a child. Is it because your mom and dad broke up and caused them to drink and take their anger out on you everywhere you go? Or is it the fact that your getting bullied, or even the fact that you hate yourself?

You don't care you've put up with this for far too long, you just want it to end. You look at your clock it's already 4:13 am and you can either sneak out or suffer the consequences of meeting your dad at breakfast. Who knows how much he had to drink this time?

You slip out of bed wearing nothing but your under clothing, and decide wile he's sleeping to take a quick shower. You look through your dresser and find a t-shirt and jeans, you decide it's fine to wear because you look ugly in the first place, clothing can't make you look nice.

You grab a towel and check if your dad is still sleeping. He is ... good. You rush to the bathroom hoping to get out of the house before he wakes up. You quickly close the door and strip. You turn on the warm shower and step in you wince in pain as you realize what you did to your arms. Fresh cuts over top of old scars.

You quickly get used to the pain and move on. Putting shampoo and conditioner in your hair and rinsing it out. You turn off the shower and step out drying yourself off and getting dressed. You look at yourself in the mirror and you don't recognize who you are and you hate what you see.

You look at your phone and realize it's 5:10 now and you grab your backpack out of your room and tip toe down the stairs. You grab a banana that's going to be your meal for the day it's not like your dad feeds you, your too fat to eat.

You go to open the door and hear your dad stumble down the stairs. You don't even look back you just quickly open the door and slam it closed running to your bus stop. you have a bit longer to wait so you decide to sit on the bench next to you and wait.

You must have been lost in your thoughts because the bus showed up and you gather your belongings and get in. You look around for a seat anywhere well you guess you'll just sit here. As you sit you hear people murmuring 'eww's' and 'how are they still here they don't belong'. You take out your headphones and slip them on and turn on your favorite song by your favorite artist.

After a few minutes the bus stops at your school/hell and your the last one to get off because no one let you in line. You go inside and get to your locker you read some post- it notes on your locker. 'bitch' 'get lost' and 'why won't you just die cunt?!'