....again and again, over and over again...again

....... friendship or stupidity....

      Cast your burdens on the Lord not the innocent young man, this words ring in my head as i write.
And again it happened, WHY ALWAYS ME? What is it with this annoying occurrences? Why is it that my friends, majorly the female ones bring their troubles to me, their relationship crises like my only role in this life is to solve their problems? But to be candid, it amazes me, I am a relationship expert yet I am single, well like most automobile engineers we call mechanics in Nigeria who fixes car troubles yet don’t own a car, it’s sad but I am like them, sometimes I get to look under the hood sometimes(if you know you know). Just imagine, but to be candid the part that pisses me off most is that this free consultancy without a prior appointment occurs when I am about to settle down and have a happy meal. I left my atm card in Soji’s room the other day and he travelled right after I saw him off to the park. Not sure if it’s the fact he went off to see his girlfriend or the fact I helped him carry his bag to the park that adds more insult to the fact am cashless for the weekend. Fast forward to this faithful Sunday morning, I did the general cleaning and washing, took the pain to plan a meal and settled for my favourite, fried chips and egg. Unfortunately my village people heard me humming a song, decided to peep through their monitoring portal, saw that I had some joy, well before I could finish frying the first batch of the potatoes, my camp gas went off, I was out of methane or is it butane or any other gas they put in it asides oxygen because I can still breath a little.
What a disaster, angrily I ran outside my room to pursue a lizard that was hanging outside my kitchen window. I had to vent this anger on a living thing, I can imagine you thought I wanted to eat it, lol, I don’t eat reptiles. Well I got outside and electric power was restore. My joy knew no bound, finally something good was happening. So as a gentleman I forgave the lizard and walked back into my abode. From experience, my electric cooker does not get hot enough to make frying of meals possible so I settled for boiled beans and half fried/boiled chip. Well think whatever you want to, I needed to eat. Six hours later the beans and chips were still on fire due to the poor power, it was an ON AND OFF situation on that faithful day, trust me by then I had drank lots of water, soaked two cups of cassava flakes (garri), I don’t know what I would have done without the garri flakes. Sunny day it had been, was the only plus because of my laundries spread outside.  And finally here I was, food served though it looks funny but if the children of Israel had manna, I will eat this and be filled. And then the knock came, I kept silent, angry at the unholy visitor who kept banging my door. I finally had to leave my precious meal and guess what it was a group of preachers from a popular church around. I guess I was rude but a hungry man is an angry man, that is a fact and in fact a law the national assembly should implement. Guess they left after a while, finally I could eat. Gbam! gbam! O Lord they were back banging on my door, seems I should just agree to baptism and whatever they want me to do on a latter day so they could leave me in peace for the moment, emotionally I was drained. I opened the door to give them a piece of my mind only this time the person outside pushed her way into my room. With the look on her face, I knew I just lost the right to eat in peace, Tolu was in my room!!!
You have no idea why my stomach groaned and why my village people were celebrating a victory at that moment so let me tell you a little about the personality of my dear friend Tolu. To her the only reason I exist and walk is to listen, give her advice which she calls dumb and childish, she tells me am too plain and need to give words worthy to be referred to as good advice. She leaves and does the opposite of all I told her, then few days comes back telling me I gave good advice and also the fact I am a bad friend who didn’t do enough to enforce my advice and how I should have forced her to take my advice as a good friend should do. Also some few months ago my village people forgot about me or were busy with more important issues allowing me to have a girlfriend without stress. Tolu was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Coincidentally the VERY first weekend I convinced my girlfriend now turned ex to come spend with me was the same week Tolu quarrelled with her boyfriend and came to my room unannounced to hide and think things through. She was careless with covering herself while in the room because to her I am her brother hence my DNA wouldn’t make me sexually attracted to her, interrupted and contributed to our private conversations, use my chest and laps as pillow while watching a movie, argued and always wanted to impose her opinion, she and my ex shared my small bed and I had to sleep on the rug. A lesson i learnt here was rhat my woman should come first, if she isnt comfortable and fine with the happenings, i should call it quit and fix it, I am to be her protector, bestfriend and happiness should be a national piority. To make matters worse she dragged my attention with my ex, so you can at least understand why I ended up single till I can find a place where I will be alone and far away from my female friends or should I call them my free therapy patients. So there I stood staring at my hard earned and cooked meal, smiling at Tolu but my spirit was weeping uncontrollably, wailing and hitting my spiritual head against the wall. I opened my big mouth and enquired why she had the sad face reminding her I was there for her anytime. My spiritual eyes was wet and my spirit needs a handkerchief to blow my small wet spiritual nose. All this with my hands on her shoulders and the most reassuring smile on my physical face. Here we go……