heaven was wrong // fillie

restlessness

i struggled to keep my eyes closed.
was i having a nightmare?
i hadn't had one of those in years.
maybe i just wasn't used to being dead.
god that's weird to say.
i shut my eyes tightly.
nothing.
this was useless.

"finn? i mean ah, head angel sir?" i called out. he said if i ever needed him, i just had to call out his name. i couldn't go on like this. maybe something was wrong with me. maybe he knew.

he appeared in a puff of smoke. "yes, millie?" he answered, his legs crossed as he levitated in the air. his halo was slightly tipped to the side.

"i cant shake this feelings of restlessness. does this usually happen?" i looked to him, hope in my eyes.

he sat there, a book in his hand. "oh yes that's extremely normal" his eyes continued to scan the words of the book. he wore an all white robe, a small set of wings engraved on the left side of it, his bare chest slightly exposed. almost gray slippers laid lazily on his feet.

"w-what does it mean?" i sat up in bed. finn had told me prior to this that i wouldn't have to sleep usually but, it was something i could do considering it was already so normal to me. he gave me a bed in a small white cottage.

it was quite a cute little place, i was used to living in small buildings. this was a step up. it had a master bedroom that was connected a beautifully sculpted bathroom. it was simply dazzling.

"you're trying to remember how you died." he looked up at me, a solid look in his eye. he clapped the book shut, it disappeared just like the others.

"will it go away if i find out?" i asked him, a rush of curiosity coursing through my veins. i lean closer towards him.

"well yes of course" he stood on his feet now, slightly tapping his foot.

"can you help me?" i couldn't help but ask him all these questions. i had to know. i honestly had no memory of my death. i wasn't sure if i'd ever know how it happened. i didn't want to be caught up on this for the rest of my existence.

"indeed i can." he answered profoundly as he crossed his arms, looking at me with the corner of his eye.

"how?" i said helplessly, still gazing at him.

"i become your guardian." he looked away for a moment. "you would become my mistress. and from then on, i would only answer to you." there was a glint of some kind of emotion in his eye, i couldn't tell what it was. i searched his face for a sign, nothing.

"well, how can i make you my guardian?" he blushed at the question. i cocked my head at him. he was one confusing guy that was for sure.

"you have to seal the contract." he hesitated to finish. he was holding something back.

"and how do i do that?" i must sound so clueless to him. i couldn't help it. i knew nothing. and when in search of answers, i'll do anything.

"you.. you.. you have to.." his words struggled to come out. i looked to him eagerly.

i stood up and walked over to him, i placed my hand on his shoulder. "you can tell me, finn."

he looked away from me, his face completely red. "you have to kiss me."

"k-kiss?" i was completely dumbfounded. i blinked at him for a moment. it was just a kiss, i had kissed many people before. why should this one be any different?

"like i said, i don't make the rules." he coughed into his sleeve and shut his eyes, only half of his face to me. his skin glowed in the pale moonlight that shown in from the window.

i twiddled my thumbs for a moment. i looked back up at him. his brown pools for eyes were closed. i grabbed his chin and forced him to face me.

"millie? w-what are you doing?" i cupped his face in my hands and brought him closer to me. i could feel his breath on my lips. i was silent.

"exactly what you told me to" i answered him. my lips pressed against his slowly. his body began to glow with a bright white light. his halo dimmed, his wings emerging from his behind his back.

i pulled away. the light faded. he looked different. he now worn the white suit from earlier. a bitter look had been slapped onto his face.

"millie brown. as of today, i am your guardian. my quest is to help put your soul to rest. i am the only person fit to protect you. you will now be by my side at all times. whether you like it or not." he announced, a scroll appeared in his hand. a quill and ink came into mine.

i looked down at my silver feather necklace hesitantly. the quill resembled it closely. i picked up the quill and dipped it in the ink. i signed the scroll gracefully.

the scroll rolled itself up and snapped back into finn's hand. with the sweep of his hand, it went flying out the window to god knows where. he placed his hands in his pants pockets.

"so, i'm your so called mistress now?" i teased him in an attempt to lighten the dull mood.

"i think you've asked enough questions tonight." he snapped at me, a bitter tone in his voice.

"you seem upset. you can talk to me finn." i put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly. i wanted him to feel like he could open up to me.

he slapped my hand off as if i had offended him. "you know nothing about me, millie." he turned around, tears on the brim of his eyes "absolutely nothing."

he flapped his wings furiously and disappeared into the night.

i was left utterly speechless.