I Love You, Harry

December 10th

I was beaming. I remember the giddiness, the cheers and the big group hug.

We'd won. We'd actually won. A dream come true.

I remember engulfing the guys in hugs and I remember his smile. Oh that beautiful smile of his. Where his eyes crinkled and his dimples showed. I remember, very well actually, as the five of us rushed backstage to our dressing room and began partying. And I remember the longing kiss Harry and I shared as soon as the doors closed.

We didn't want to tell anyone except the boys yet. And we still had to tell our families. Now that they're mentioned. I remember how the door to the dressing room flew open just as Harry and I took a step back from our kiss and our families stormed in and engulfed us in hugs and kisses.

It was truly lovely.

I remember how Simon told us not too long after winning the competition that we had to start working on our first album.

We didn't write our songs then. We just sang what they told us to sing, did fun music videos and watched as our fame grew by the minute with big grins on our faces.

Good old times.

It seemed like we were constantly on the move. Interview here, photo shoot there. Then music videos and of course recording. The music, the lyrics weren't actually so bad, but I made sure that once we'd start writing our own songs I'd take part in it.

Even though we were busy we still kept a pretty steady tradition of having a Saturday movie night with all the five of us. Just lazily watching a horror movie, action and occasionally some romance. Harry being the romance lover and such. We enjoyed those times a lot. I suppose it made us feel like normal teenagers for a night. Sometimes the movie nights would change into nights were we'd go clubbing, but with the same result. Forgetting the world and just being 5 boys having fun on a Saturday night.

Harry and I grew closer every minute. I still remember our parent's reaction when we told them that we're going out over a big family dinner where both our families joined in. Our mother's engulfed us in big hugs, Gemma choked on her food along with our dad's and my little sister's started asking why anyone would date me. They didn't mean any harm just couldn't quite grasp the concept of her older brother having a boyfriend. Hell, I couldn't understand either how I got together with someone so beautiful inside and out.

"Hazza?" I asked one night. I heard him hum in response too tired to talk. To be fair we had a long day of interviews and such. "Can you teach me how to cook?" Harry looked over his shoulder and gave me a questioning look.

"Proper cooking?" He asked and I nodded pulling him closer to me. "Sure, we'll talk about it later."

"Okay. Night Haz."

"Night Lou."

Harry fell asleep in my arms. I loved the feeling of holding someone. Of holding him. Like I said. Harry is home. Home is where Harry is. And so I fell asleep with my home. My heart.

I remember that Management called the next morning. We had a meeting with them at 11 am. It was 9 am already. Liam told me. I swear it took them a good ten minutes of bugging me until I got up but not before kicking Liam in the gut. I remember that I started laughing so hard that my laughing actually woke me up. Liam glared at me but I just told him that I warned him before.